True southern Gal …

South Carolina most South part of the woman goes to the local newspaper the last obituary of the deceased husband of the Agency, will be written to. Obit-editor notifies him or her obituary is a dollar per word. He pauses, then says, and reflects the "well, then, just give it to read, Billy Bob died."

Amused at the thrift of the woman, the editor says "sorry for the kantoosi is a seven-word at least all the obituaries." A little flustered, he thinks things and answers, "in this case, let it read,

' Billy Bob red car for sale ', died-

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The marriage is Bliss …

Cocktail party at one of the woman said to another, do not you wearing a wedding ring on the wrong finger? " Yes I am. I married the wrong man. "

Lady will be added to the ' ad ' anuncios: "the husband wanted". The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: you have mine. "

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

The woman is incomplete until he is married. Then he is ready.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I do not know, my son, I'm still paying."

A young boy: "is it true that in some parts of Africa, of the father, the man does not know his wife until she marries him?" The father: "this is the case, for each country boy."

Then it was a woman, who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married and then, it was too late."

Marriage is the imagination over intelligence Triumph.

If you want your spouse to listen, and attention to every word you say, talk about your tough.

Just think, if it is not marriage, men would go through life thinking, they had no problems at all.

First guy: "my wife is an Angel!" Second guy: "you are lucky, I was still alive."

Women will never be equal to men until they are Bald Head with a beer gut and for all to walk and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.

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Windows not documented

* WinErr: 001 Windows loaded-system at risk

* WinErr: 002 error – yet

* Link error-WinErr: 003, a dynamic error is now each file in Your

* An error – no WinErr: 004 is wrong

* WinErr: 005 multitasking access – the system confused with

* WinErr: 006 malware Error-the disk view drive

* The price of the error-WinErr: 007 system hardware resources are insufficient to

* Beware of the broken window-WinErr: 008 glass fragments

* WinErr: 009 a horrible bug encountered – no one knows what happened to the

* WinErr: 00A promotional literature overflow – the size of the mailbox

* Insufficient disk space-WinErr: 00B free at least 500 MB

* WinErr: 00 C memory hog error – more Ram is required. More! More! More!

* WinErr: 00 D window closed-Wikipedia, the does not look outside the

* Open-Wikipedia, the does WinErr: 00E search inside

* WinErr: 00F unexplained error – Please tell me how this happened

* WinErr: 010 reserved for future errors in our developers

* WinErr: 011 box open-Wikipedia, the does not Show on the outside of the

* WinErr: 012 window closed-Wikipedia, the does not search within the

* An unexpected error occurred-WinErr: 013 Huh?

* The keyboard locked – try WinErr: 014, anything you can think of.

* WinErr: 018 unrecoverable error-the system is destroyed.
Buy a new one. The old windows license is no longer valid.

* There is a user error-WinErr: 019 our fault. Is not! Is not!

* The operating system to replace-WinErr: 01A reinstall all software. We are terribly sorry.

* WinErr: 01B illegal error – you may get this error. The penalty for the next time

* WinErr: 01 (C) the uncertainty of error – the uncertainty may be insufficient.

* WinErr: 01 (D) we are not able to determine their own system, the crash – the code.

* Scheduling bug-01E WinErr: Please Wait. And wait. And wait. And wait.

* Reserved for our developers on WinErr: 01F errors

* Error codes in error logging WinErr: 020 – the remaining errors are lost.

* WinErr: 042 Virus error-virus is activated from within a dos box. The Virus, however, you must be a member of the Windows. All tasks are automatically closed, and the virus becomes active again.

* WinErr: 079 mouse not found-mouse driver is not installed. Click the Continue button on the left.

* WinErr: 103 error buffer overflow-too many errors. The following errors are not displayed or posted.

* WinErr: 678, this will end your Windows session. Do you want to start a new game?

* WinErr: 683 error time out while waiting for the system to run the startup of the operator – fell asleep

* WinErr: 815 is not enough memory to only 580, 312, 583 bytes available

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Type is assumed to be a joke

First, the test facility, the ridiculous situation or ridiculous characters. At The ...

The man stands for bus stop, balaclava helmets very hot day.

(This sounds promising.)

He is approached for a second man, who asks, "why are you wearing a balaclava helmet, when it is so hot?"

(Good, build, and we will direct man.)

"It helps to keep my ear plugs," the first man replies.

(The slight escalation ridiculous.)

"But why do you ear plugs?", the second man is responsible.

"They help me see the bus number."

(Double take).

"How to help you see attached to the ear?"

(Logical, separated from the back.)

"They help concentrate the senses, which are available. So that you will not be able to hear better with my eyesight. "

(This makes sense again to a strange kind of, but I believe that the Punch line to appear. Do You Want?)

"That is interesting. But hear me. "

"Ah, but you're not on the bus."

(Uh uh, think I'm off the track here. It's fun, but not funny enough. Please go back and try again, if you want to return to the second man says, "but hear me". That has to go. Do I need to up the ante in.)

"That is a fascinating theory. So, if your eyes to cover it would improve your hearing? "

"Peruvian man coughing can I hear."

(This may be a filler which may prove necessary, but I always edit it later if it is unwanted.)

"And if the nose pinched and stop your own smell?"

(Haven't a clue where I am now.)

"It would improve my sense of touch."

(Oh oh, getting further and further away from the destination fun I think.)

"But what is the benefit would be that, if necessary, you can smell my own?

"Wouldn't I gave Nenäni, should I press and hold the?"

(This is getting so lame. Why start? Maybe I need to write a recipe for curry instead. No, please continue. Oh God, I got it!)

"And what if, I cut off my own vision, hearing, smell, and my sense of the term of your touch screen and taste?"

"I am laughing out burst.".

"What?" Why on earth you can burst out laughing? "

"It really sharpens my sense of humor."

Not a classic, perhaps, but not bad for a sitting on a couch in Saturday afternoon, a laptop computer, television, and is expected to start in the Euro 2008 football tournament. Let's merge all of the programs and see what you did.

The man stands for bus stop, balaclava helmets very hot day.

He is approached for a second man, who asks, "why are you wearing a balaclava helmet, when it is so hot?"

"It helps to keep my ear plugs," the first man replies.

"But why do you ear plugs?", the second man is responsible.

"They help me see the bus number."

"How to help you see attached to the ear?"

"They help concentrate the senses, which are available. So that you will not be able to hear better with my eyesight. "

"That is a fascinating theory. So, if your eyes to cover it would improve your hearing? "

"Peruvian man coughing can I hear."

"And if the nose pinched and stop your own smell?"

"It would improve my sense of touch."

"But what is the benefit would be that, if necessary, you can smell my own?

"Wouldn't I gave Nenäni, should I press and hold the?"

"And what if, I cut off my own vision, hearing, smell, and my sense of the term of your touch screen and taste?"

"I am laughing out burst.".

"What?" Why on earth you can burst out laughing? "

"It really sharpens my sense of humor."

Finally run the joke just what all happens in the standard foot rests, that man has the five senses, so it will be based on illegally, but many are based on a good joke. Cannot delete the material, but the whole point is to illegally method to the reader or listener to reach before thinking, drag the selector, so I believe that it leaves the facility.

Do not be afraid of comedy writing. Joke horjuvalla rarely include full-formed the imagination. It has worked for. Punchline, might not be immediately present themselves, but as the show you are in the process of the above (and this is not deconstructed a joke), just click continue. Maybe does not have a sense of humor, a comedy that marks the time out by authors, but.

Gurmeet Mattu is an award-winning writer and educated, to print the vendor, stage, radio and television, as well as that, acting by a qualified majority, the Trainer of track record.

He is now the opportunity for writers to offer to publish their fiction ebook via MA2BOOKS. We will post all games in the PDF, DNL, and MobiPocket formats. We pay a royalty of 50% (via PayPal) each month. Visit the ma2books webplus.net. .

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Verbal abuse, disguised as a joke

Here, the joke is a form of abuse verbal abuse. Such abuse is done in jest. It cuts the areas most sensitive touches, fast, and leaves the abuser Triumph look. Misuse ever seems fun, because it is not fun.

Example 1:

Jack: "Gee, Jill to get fatter every day, ha ha ha!"

Jill: "do you think was fun."

Jack: "you just can't take a joke!"

Example 2:

Jack: "The Boy! You can watch some stupid movies. "

Jill: "I don't like it when you refer to I consider as the stupid movies."

Jack: "only you try to start an argument."

Just because you have a match, wrath does not believe that "the fact that you are wrong." Wondering if there is something wrong in my sense of humor, time is not a waste. There is nothing wrong in my sense of humor, or you can. Verbal abuse, the effects of the brainwashing may not be over-emphasized.

The following are the comments at the hearing, which is described as a joke: the abuser

-You will need the officer!

-Boy! Clear are the easy way to the future!

-What other measures can expect a woman?

-You cannot find your head, if you had not been attached.

Abuser may also pelästytetä of his partner, startle, or, after which he will laugh as though it were a joke.

To respond to the abuse of this form, it is useful to know that he has already implemented for you because he thinks that doing so puts him up, so to speak.

Do not try to explain to him what a funny joke about did not. Do not try to explain his jokes, which you can find a variety of humorous. Do not try to explain his you can't find the humorous and wants to say to you in a variety of jokes. Don't ask him what he meant, or why, he said. Do not spend time wondering if he understands how it sounded, even in the event that he is acting like it sounded funny to him. Do not spend time Wondering, why not laugh with wit, or the lack of with wit.

At any time, or denigrated, disparged ridiculed or just don't like what you hear, please try responding vigorously and "now, as I have said that (to me) (interrupted me) (laughed at me), do you feel is more important to you?"

Then, release the brake. Are, so he think about it. Please do not engage in the conversation. You may be able to say "I do not want to talk about it.". "or" can I get back to you later "if he continues to challenge you.

Tanya is the story of Lady publications Michalski, the owner and magazines and other publications Please feel free to include this article on its own, and a newsletter in Publisher. If you do, please remember to include a resource box, too.

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Sports commentator n offers

"Moses Kiptanui And this list is not exhaustive, the 19-year-old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago." (David Coleman)

"The large interest in the company must be able to be the largest barrier to the purchase of both feet with" (David Coleman)

"We are now in exactly the same situation as we had exactly the opposite race, only the beginning." (Murray Walker)

In the 1990 World cup to play Cameroon shutouts: "we cannot underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought. " (Bobby Robson)

Issues in football and in Italy, residing in tune: "It was like being abroad." (Ian Rush)

Jimmy Hill: "do not sit on the fence, Terry. What opportunity do you think that Germany is to get?
Terry Venables: "I think it is a 50-50."

"I was in the no win situation, so I am glad that I won, rather than lost." (Frank Bruno)

"There is going to be a real ding-dong, when the Bell goes." (David Coleman)

"Brendan Foster, itself, with 500,000 people." (David Coleman)

"In the lead car is definitely unique, except for the one behind it, which is identical." (Murray Walker)

"I owe a lot to my parents, in particular, my mother and my father." (Greg Norman)

"The injuries and deaths has been in Boxing, but none serious." (Alan Minter)

"Watch the time. It gives an explanation of how quickly they will run. " (Ron Pickering)

"Nigel Mansel of just under 10 seconds. Call it 9.5 seconds of round numbers. " (Murray Walker)

"Brain Scan showed that Andrew Caddick who suffers from stress Shin fracture." (Sheldon)

"That is inches is the complete millimetre." (Ted Lowe)

"I Fight Lloyd Honeyghan anything if the price is right." (Marlon Starling)

"If I think the history of our targets, there would be no need to wait for the same thing again." (Terry Venables)

"I do not know who is to lead."It is the Oxford or Cambridge. " (John Snagge – between the Oxford Cambridge Boat Race)

"The Queen's Park oval, exactly as its name implies, is a completely circular." (Tony Crozier)

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Squeezing Lemons

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet.

The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.

Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.

One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice “I’d like to try the bet.”

After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.

But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man “what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?”

The man replied “I work for the IRS.”

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Street Name?

“I’d like the number for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia,” the young man said to the 411 operator.

“There are multiple listings for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia,” the operator said. “Do you have a street name?”

The young man hesitated a moment, “Well, uh, most people call me Bubba.”

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STEVE: THE JERK

Once upon a time was married to annoying man, a woman named Steve. He complain about everything. This day he went to the creek with his Mule. He appealed to so many mules got annoyed and kicked his death.

Funeral, when all the men walked, the wife he shook her head Yes, and when the ladies walked, she shook her head no.

The Minister asks, "why are you shaking your head Yes men and women not?"

His response was "I would like to say how the men we are sorry they knew me and was saying," Yes, alright. "babalík When the ladies walked by, they were asked whether the Mule for sale. “

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Wedding speech jokes, you can use them or lose them?

Humor can be a very difficult topic. What one person finds funny, to be able to find very offensive.

Humor is the use of the voice of the wedding, particularly difficult, because the typical audience consists of a wide range of ages, backgrounds and interests. You have to remember that what you find funny can be very offensive to someone else in the audience.

You are very careful of a wedding, a special day because it is the bride and groom, someone wants to do the last thing is to ruin through the poorly placed in the joke.

How do you use humor without offending anyone in the wedding, and the conclusion of the item itself is not valid in the meantime?

First, you need to think about all the references and you plan to use the stories. Any of them, as the case may be, is intended to be offensive to a group of users? One of the stories that the public do not know about the important people, or more importantly, should not know?

Perhaps the most important stories are appropriate? You do not want to talk about the bride or the groom from the conquests of their wedding day!

It is best to use humor, wedding, which is pretty relaxed and in the middle of the road. Remember that you are likely to be different views of the religious and political, and these are particularly difficult topics, the people are very strong views on it. Politics and religion is best avoided, unless you know that it is going very well, and was found to be amusing.

In the end with your wedding Party will be able to determine what can and what not, fun. Make sure that all the jokes and see them run because you do not want to ruin any bride and groom to date.

With some careful thought may include humor, wedding speech. Humor is a vital part of the wedding speech and want to make the audience laugh, as well as in the cry. Appropriate humor will ensure that your voice for a long time to get to unohdu.

Do you want to know how best to use the wedding speech jokes maximum impact? Click this for the fantastic wedding day to give the speech and impress all the audience ". These technologies are all your voice for some time to come we are talking about.

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Texas

At the urging of his doctor, Bill moved to Texas.

After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.

“Say, is this really a healthy place?”

“It sure is,” the man replied.

“When I first arrived here I couldn’t say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn’t have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed.”

“That’s wonderful!” said Bill. “How long have you been here?”

“I was born here.”

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The Greek style

The man goes to the little network neighborhood pub, and when he is sitting in the bar, he finds a seated second from the woman. He waves to her, and much to his surprise, he winks back to him. It does not take long before he has to sit next to the Chair. They will discuss about 15 minutes and then the man says to the woman,

"You've really hot!"

"You're pretty cute, too," she tells him. "I will tell you what … I live around the corner-what do you think of my position coming up to? "

"That sounds good!" the man was looking forward to replies.

"Before we go there, even if the" woman "is to ask one question: do you like doing the Greek style?"

"Well … uh …I'm not entirely sure what to say, "the man answers," but it sounds really interesting and I wanted to know! Let's go! "

As the two walk to his house. As soon as they get inside the door, the woman will copy all his clothes off. The man can't believe his eyes! She is incredibly beautiful. "Now, you're * that *," the woman asks, "do not want to make it in the Greek style?"

"Absolutely!" the man answers.

"All right," says the woman, then. "All the choice of flight and get up in the hands and knees you in bed."

"Sounds like fun!" exclaims the man. He ran out of his clothes include staggering, and climbs on top of the bed and the knees of his hands. The woman goes around and gets onto the Bed, in front of the right of the man.

He kneels down in front of his head. He asks him, "are you sure you want to do in the Greek style?"

"Yeah! Yeah, let's go! ", says the man.

A woman grabs the man with his armpits of locking hold down his arms. He can move at all, and his head into his chest is pressing. Once again, he says, "are you sure you want to do in the Greek style?"

The Ombudsman's muffled the sound to be heard between his breast is unlikely. "The Mmmf, yeah!" he mumbles, "Greek style!"

The woman, such as the Director of the accounts he tightens and she yells

"Spiro!! Come and get it! "

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The differences between men and women

Nickname: If the Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they call each other with the Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go brewsky, they each other affectionately refers to as the Fat Boy, Godzilla, peanut-head and Useless.

EATING OUT: entry and inspection, Mike, Phil, Rob, and Jack is thrown for each $ 20 bills, even though it's only $ 22.50. None of them have anything less, and nothing really as they want to change back. When the girls get their check out upcoming pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS: male has six items in her bathroom-a toothbrush, razor, shaving SOAP, Dial bar soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn. 437 is the typical woman bathroom items, on average. The man will not be able to identify most of these items.

FOOD SHOPPING: the Woman makes a list of actions he needs and then goes out to a store and buy these things. The man waits until the only items left on his refrigerator is half of a lime and soda. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. The man reaches the checkout counter, the time of her shopping basket must be packed tighter than the cars of Clampett Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this does not prevent him from uploading 10-items-or-less lane.

Footwear: work on the preparation of the places the woman in the Mondi Wool SUIT, then the packing slip for the Reebok sneakers. He will take the plastic bag from Saks, her dress shoes. When a woman Gets the job, he put his dress shoes. Five minutes later, he will kick them because his legs are below. The man in the same shoes used to pair your computer all day.

CATS: the women's love of cats. The men say they love cats, but when women are not looking, men kick cats.

DRESSING up: Woman dress up: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, you will receive an e-mail message. Man dress for the wedding of.::

LAUNDRY: Women do Laundry every couple of days. A man of each article of clothing she used by owns, including his surgical pants, which were the hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. Finally, when he is, he used the dirty clothes on the Samsung inside out, rent, lease, and the journey takes her to u clothes mountain in the Laundromat. Men expect to always meet the beautiful women in the Laundromat. This is a re-runs "of love, American style.". "old episodes retained the illusion

OFFSPRING: Ah, the children. The woman knows all of the children. He knows the dentist appointments and soccer games, and a literature and best friends, and your favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. The man of the House also knows some of the short the poverty threshold.

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2006 New Year’s Resolutions

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 1, 2011 | No Comments

As we all prepare to start a new year, it is time again to make those ever so important New Year’s Resolutions. Here is my list of recent years’ resolutions and the revised ones for 2006.

Resolution #1
2003: I will try to be a better husband to Lisa.
2004: I will not leave Lisa.
2005: I will try for reconciliation with Lisa.
2006: I will try to be a better husband to Rachel.

Resolution #2
2003: I will stop looking at other women.
2004: I will not get involved with Rachel.
2005: I will not let Rachel pressure me into another marriage.
2006: I will stop looking at other women.

Resolution #3
2003: I will not let my boss push me around.
2004: I will not let my sadistic boss drive me to the point of suicide.
2005: I will stick up for my rights when my boss bullies me.
2006: I will tell Dr. Hodger and the group about my boss.

Resolution #4
2003: I will read at least 20 good books a year
2004: I will read at least 10 books a year.
2005: I will read 5 books a year.
2006: I will finish Space.

Resolution #5
2003: I will not get upset when Bill and Roger make jokes about my baldness.
2004: I will not get annoyed when Bill and Roger kid me about my toupee.
2005: I will not lose my temper when they tell the guys I wear a girdle.
2006: I will not speak to Bill and Roger.

Resolution #6
2003: I will get my weight down below 180.
2004: I will watch my calories until I get below 190.
2005: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200.
2006: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.

Resolution #7
2003: I will not take a drink before 5:00 p.m.
2004: I will not touch the bottle before noon
2005: I will not become a “problem drinker”.
2006: I will not miss any AA meetings.

Resolution #8
2003: I will not spend my money frivolously.
2004: I will pay off my bank loan promptly.
2005: I will pay off my bank loans promptly.
2006: I will begin making a strong effort to be out of debt by 2008.

Resolution #9
2003: I will see my dentist this year.
2004: I will have my cavities filled this year.
2005: I will have my root canal work done this year.
2006: I will get rid of my denture breath this year.

Resolution #10
2003: I will go to church every Sunday.
2004: I will go to church as often as possible.
2005: I will set aside time each day for prayer and meditation.
2006: I will try to catch the late night sermonette on TV.

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The mother of one of the Arm

The built-in list of army of two younger brothers were getting their physicals. Examination, the doctor was amazed to discover that both had incredibly long, oversized penises.

"How can you account for the determination of?", he said the brothers.

"It is hereditary, sir," replied the older one.

"I see," said the doctor to his file in writing. "Your father is the cause of penises?"

"Not the Lord, our mother."

"Your Mother? You idiot, the female does not have penises! "

"I know, sir," replied the recruit, "but he had only one partition, and it came to us, we ran out of the bathroom, when he was the best he could manage."

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The Ladies Man

Posted a day in the life of a joke | on April 1, 2011 | There are no comments

Perry fancied himself quite the ladies man, so when his cruise ship went down in a storm and he found himself stranded in the desert with the six women on the island, he does not believe his luck.

They quickly agreed that each woman is a one night a week with only human.

Perry threw himself with gusto, the arrangement will be working his holiday, but as the weeks stretched into months, he found himself looking to forward to you the rest of the more eagerly.

One afternoon, he sits on the beach, and who wants to share some more of his men, when he caught for waving the life raft bobbing waves, which was a man in sight. Perry, pulled out of the floating raft from the beach and had a little jig luck. "You cannot believe how happy I am to see you," he cried.

New fellow eyed him up and down and cooed, "you are a sight for sore eyes, too, you gorgeous thing!"

"Shit," memoranda of understanding for my "go to Perry, on Sunday."

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The new drivers license

The Junior had just received his new drivers license. The driveway of the family into the car and trooped when he was about to take them for the first time to ride. The father immediately headed directly to the recently struck the driver on the back.

"I bet you have to get back after the change in scenery, all these months of sitting in the front passenger seat to teach me the drive to be" the son said the beaming ol' man.

"No thank you," became the father of the answer, "I am never gonna sit here and kick behind you before you can run the same way as you have done for me all these years."

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The little black Boy

The little black boy goes to his momma baking kitchen. He relies on his hands and wipes all over his face. He will review his momma and says, ' momma, I See, the white boy! "

He slaps him in the face and momma says, "your dad did y'all Go sho!"

He walks downstairs a living room of his daddy, and says, "Look Dad, I am a white boy!"

He also slaps him in the face of daddy and says, "go to the Show yo ' grandmother!"

The boy in his room and scoots Grandma says, ' Look grandmother, son, I'm white! "

Once again, he is hit in the face of this time, his Grandma. He tells the boy to return to his momma.

Once he arrives downstairs, his momma says, "well, you will learn none of that?"

Replied the boy, "that was. I have only had 5 minutes to the white and three black already I hate! "

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Home Cooked Meal

Joke of the Day Posted on | September 29, 2011 | No Comments

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

His mother had an idea: “Why don’t you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home- cooked meal?”

He thought this was a great strategy, and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone.

“The evening was a disaster,” he moaned.

“Why, didn’t she come over?” asked his mother.

“Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook….”

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The New Priest

A new priest is the first time hearing confessions about Twitter, so he asks the older priest to sit his sessions.

The new priest consults with the pair, then the old distinctions of a priest to ask him to add some of the proposals in the confessional.

The old priest proposes ' you can rub your body and arms overlap chin with one hand. "

A new priest to attempt this.

The old priest proposes ' Try, saying, "I see the most useful," "Yes, go, ' and ' I understand." "How do you feel that?" "

The new priest says these things.

The old priest says, "now, do not think is a bit better than my generation läiskäyttää and said, ' do not fuck with?!? What happened next? ""

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The Promise Of Marriage

The couple had been married for 45 years, and had 11 children and were members of the brood, blessed 22 grandchildren.

When asked the secret to online safety tips together all the wife replies, "many years ago, we made a promise to each other: the first compression and leave must be taken of all the kids …."

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The priest, retirement dinner

The priest was being used at his retirement dinner for 35 years, the municipality. Leading local politician and was the presentation by a Member State which, on the one hand, and gives a little speech, dinner.

However, she was delayed, so the priest decided to say a few words of his own, while they waited for:
"I got my first impression from the first I heard of this yhteislaitumilla a confession. I thought that I was a terrible place. The very first person who came to my confessional told me, he was asked by the police, the stolen TV and was able to lie his way. He had stolen money from his parents, his or her employer had embezzled an affair with his boss's wife, the measures taken to combat illegal drugs and gave the VD sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I learned that my people, but not all, as a matter of fact, and I had become a fine parish throughout the good and loving people. "…

Just as the priest in his talk, politician, arrived late for apologies is full. He immediately began to make a presentation and gave his talk:

"Never forget our first Seurakuntapappi arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession."

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Texas

At the urging of his doctor, Bill moved to Texas.

After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.

“Say, is this really a healthy place?”

“It sure is,” the man replied.

“When I first arrived here I couldn’t say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn’t have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed.”

“That’s wonderful!” said Bill. “How long have you been here?”

“I was born here.”

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The secret to success?

The two old friends meet one day, after many years. One of the College and was now took part in the very successful. The second had not participated in the College and never had much more ambitious.

Success one said, "How is everything with you visited it?"

"Well, one day, opened a Bible at random and my finger is dropped on the word and it was the oil. So I'm invested in oil and butter on the day of Valentine's son, had been in the oil, kai sources admit. Then the other day with my finger on it is dropped onto another word and it was gold. So I placed the gold mines and those actually produced. Now I am as rich as Bill Gates. "

It was a successful friend impressed, that he was rushed to the hotel, his Gideon Bible, translated it opens and his fingerprints, dropped on the page. He opened his eyes and his finger rested the words, "chapter eleven".

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The Snake Model

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations (AO):

1. Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area.

2. Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake.

3. Armor: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes.

4. Aviation: Has Global Positioning Satellite coordinates to snake. Can’t find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicure.

5. Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it.

6. Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage with three Forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered a success and all participants (i.e., cooks, mechanics and clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.

7. Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores all State Department directives and Theater Commander Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other snakes. Files enormous travel settlement upon return.

8. Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal thesis in obscure 5 series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using countermobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don’t understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake ops.

9. Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition and calls for naval gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites SEAL and retreats to safety. Hollywood makes fantasy film in which SEALS kill Muslim extremist snakes.

10. Navy: Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various types of ships, kills snake and makes presentation to Senate Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means of anti-snake force projection.

11. Marine: Kills snake by accident while looking for souvenirs. Local civilians demand removal of all US forces from Area of Operations.

12. Marine Recon: Follows snake, gets lost.

13. Combat Controllers: Guides snake elsewhere.

14. Para-Rescue Jumper: Wounds snake in initial encounter, then works feverishly to save snake’s life.

15. Supply: (NOTICE: Your anti-snake equipment is on backorder.)

16. Transport pilot: Receives call for anti-snake equipment, and delivers two weeks after due date.

17. F-15 pilot: Mis-identifies snake as enemy Mil-24 Hind helicopter and engages with missiles. Crew chief paints snake kill on aircraft.

18. F-16 pilot: Finds snake, drops two CBU-87 cluster bombs, and misses snake target, but get direct hit on Embassy 100 KM East of snake due to weather (Too Hot also Too Cold, Was Clear but too overcast, Too dry with Rain, Unlimited ceiling with low cloud cover etc.) Claims that purchasing multi-million dollar, high-tech snake-killing device will enable it in the future to kill all snakes and achieve a revolution in military affairs.

19. AH-64 Apache pilot: Unable to locate snake, snakes don’t show well on infra-red. Infrared only operable in desert AO’s without power lines or SAM’s.

20. UH-60 Blackhawk pilot: Finds snake on fourth pass after snake builds bonfire, pops smoke, lays out VS 17 to mark Landing Zone. Rotor wash blows snake into fire.

21. B-52 pilot: Pulls ARCLIGHT mission on snake, kills snake and every other living thing within two miles of target.

22. Missile crew: Lays in target coordinates to snake in 20 seconds, but can’t receive authorization from National Command Authority to use nuclear weapons.

23. Intelligence officer: Snake? What snake? Only four of 35 indicators of snake activity are currently active. We assess the potential for snake activity as LOW.

24. Judge Advocate General (JAG): Snake declines to bite, citing grounds of professional courtesy.

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A Mother’s Dictionary

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the children play outside.

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.

Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Verbal: Able to whine in words

Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”

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A Little Black Boy

Joke of the Day Posted on | March 14, 2011 | No Comments

A little black boy goes into the kitchen where his momma is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He looks at his momma and says, “Look, momma, I’m a white boy!”

His momma slaps him in the face and says, “Go sho your daddy what y’all did!”

He walks downstairs to his daddy in the living room and says, “Look daddy, I’m a white boy!”

His daddy also slaps him in the face and says, “Go show yo’ grandma!”

The boy scoots over to his grandma’s room and says, “Look Grandma, I’m a white boy!”

Once again, he is slapped in the face, this time by his grandma. She tells the boy to go back to his momma.

Once he arrives downstairs, his momma says, “Well, did you learn anything from that?!”

The boy replied, “Sure enough did. I’ve only been white for 5 minutes and I already hate three black people!”

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The two Sisters playing cards

Had the 2 playing cards as well as the sisters … virgins. One Friday and Gladys Betty says, "not going to die, virgin, … I'm going and I am coming Home ' til I established! "

Betty says, "well, make sure that you are at home to 10, so do not worry about you."

around 10 o'clock rolls and Gladys … is not the 11 o'clock …12 o'clock …

Finally, about 1: 30 AM, the front door flies open. That run directly on the bathroom Gladys ….

Betty goes to them and the doors of the "are you okay, Gladys?"

No answer, so he opens the door and his underpants sitting around him with the ulkomaailmasta, the legs spread and Gladys, his head stuck between his legs to itself will be reviewed.

"What Gladys??? What is wrong? "ask Betty.

"Oh, it was Betty 10 cm long, when it went to the chatting and 5 when it came out. When you search for the second half of your life, you never have the time! "

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The things that the Sane person mad drive

Posted on daily joke | 22. in June, 2011 | There are no comments

The things that the Sane person mad drive

You have to try a pair of sunglasses that stupid they slipped from the plastic in the Center.

The person behind you can run a flower in his shopping cart on your own back of the ankle.

The elevator stopped for each layer, and no one gets.

The riding always has its own tail, when you slow down to find the address of the car.

You can open a can of soup, and cover art belongs to.

Network Neighborhood, that is, everything is a dog barks.

You should never, no way it came back to the.

Tire gauge half off, but you are trying to get to the odometer.

Drive, when you've neatly standing close to the radio, but buzzes, drifts, and spits, every time you go away.

There is always one or two ice cubes, which are not pop out of the tray.

Wash the garment with the tissue in your pocket, and the entire Laundry comes out, which is covered with lint.

The car behind you, you can you learn to let go of the blasts in the Horn of Africa ready for pedestrians crossing.

A piece of foil on a candy wrapper allows you to contact the padding (or braces).

You can set the alarm for a digital clock instead of 7 am to 7 pm.

The use of the Radio station is tell me who sang the song.

Rub the cream on the one hand, and can be deleted to get rid of bathroom doorknob.

People behind the supermarket you can line the line forward, you can block, only to open up.

Glasses slide in your heart when you perspire.

Cannot search for words in the dictionary the correct spelling, because you don't know the spell it ".

You must be the same people in sales for the five different container, which you are browsing the root.

You've had your hands on the pencil, just a second ago, and now it is not found.

You have reached the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way.

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Pilots’ Wisdom

Joke of the Day Posted on | September 26, 2011 | No Comments

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn’t dangerous. Crashing is what’s dangerous.

4. It’s always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. Because when it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

8. A ‘good’ landing is one from which you can walk away. A ‘great’ landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. You know you’ve landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice-versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn’t get to five minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you’ve made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can’t fly; they’re just so ugly the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that’s going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgment.

21. It’s always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There’s always something you’ve missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It’s the law. And it’s not subject to repeal.

24. The four most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, gas back at the airport, and a tenth of a second ago.

25. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old, bold pilots.

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Street Name?

“I’d like the number for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia,” the young man said to the 411 operator.

“There are multiple listings for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia,” the operator said. “Do you have a street name?”

The young man hesitated a moment, “Well, uh, most people call me Bubba.”

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Squeezing Lemons

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet.

The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.

Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.

One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice “I’d like to try the bet.”

After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.

But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man “what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?”

The man replied “I work for the IRS.”

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THE WOMAN WAS A SUCCESS

Once upon a time the couple celebrated their games, the 25th anniversary of the marriage.

They had become famous in the city to take one of their 25 years of conflict.

Local newspaper editors were collected to determine their well known "good going to a marriage" in the context of the secret.
Editor: "Sir. Is amazingly amazing. How do you make this possible? ”

Husband, recalling the old days, said: the honeymoon-

"We had after the marriage, honeymoon, Shimla.

Finally, the selected horse riding when we both began to ride different horses.

My horse was countryn but where my wife was Riding a horse seemed crazy one.

Forward on the road to the horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple.

Restore curricula from the ground, he patted the horse back and said, "this is the first time".

He once again risen from the dead horse, and continued to ride. A few moments it again.

This time, he again kept quiet, and said, "this is the second time," and remain in full force and effect.

When the horse fell to her for the third time, he took the insurance from the budgetary powers and quietly shot revolver, the horse dead!

My wife has cried out: "What did you do to Psycho. The poor animal dies. Are you crazy? "...

He gave a quiet look and said: "this is the first time!". "

Husband: "we are delighted to have it ever since."

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The wisdom of Love

If you love someone,
He set up the free …
If he comes back, he is yours,
If he does, he never was ….

Pessimist:
If you love someone,
He set up a free …
If he ever comes back, he is yours,
If he doesn't, well, as expected, he never had.

Optimist:
If you love someone,
He set up a free …
Do not worry, he comes back.

Suspicious:
If you love someone,
He set up a free …
If he ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:
If you love someone,
He set up a free …
If he does not belongs to the back of his forgotten for some time.

The Patient:
If you love someone,
He set up a free …
If he does come back, continue to wait until he comes back to …

PLAYFUL: If someone, love
He set up a free …
If he comes back and he still loves her, set free again and repeat the

C++ programmer:
If (you-love (m_she))
m_she. free ()
If (m_she == Null)
m_she = new CShe;

Animal rights activist:
If you love someone,
He set up the free …
In fact all living creatures deserve free!!

Lawyers:
If you love someone,
He set up the free …
Clause 1(a) of the Marriage Act, the freedom of the second amendment 13, paragraph 1 (a) clearly states that …

Bill Gates:
If you love someone,
He set up the free …
If he comes back, the
I believe that we can charge you for fees and his reinstallation, but tell him that he also is the update.

Biologist:
If you love someone,
He set up the free …
He will continue to evolve.

Statistician:
If you love someone,
He set up the free …
If he loves you, the probability of his coming back is the high
If he is not, your relationship was unlikely in any event.

Schwarzenegger's Fan:
If you love someone,
He set up the free …
HE COMES BACK!

For more than a possessive:
If you love someone you do not set her free.

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The work of the Chairman of the

Two lifelong friends were temporary, the local bar for a few pints down when one said to the other:

"If I ask you a question, can you promise to reply to me honestly?"

"Yeah, sure thing," his friend replied, "fire away".

"No," said the first guy, "why do you think the guys around here Look so attractive to my wife?"

"This is probably due to his rapid speech," replied the second guy.

"What do you mean his speech there?" asked the first member. "My wife does not have a voice for the job!"

"No," replied his friend, "the only man who has not noticed that he cannot say" no ", must have!"

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Welfare Applications

For those unfamiliar, Welfare payments are made in the US to individuals and families with income below a level. The following quotations are taken from actual letters received by the Welfare Department in applications for support of receiving payments.

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.

I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?

Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for two years and has been visited regularly by the clergy.

I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell me why?

I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.

This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it.

Please find for if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can’t do anything until he knows.

I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.

In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a son weighing 10 lbs. I hope this is satisfactory.

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children one of which is a mistake as you can see.

My husband got his project cut off about two weeks ago and I haven’t had any relief since.

Unless I get my husband’s money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

You have my changed little boy to a girl, will this make any difference?

I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.

I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn’t do me any good. If things don’t improve, I will have to send for another doctor.

In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

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The Snake Model

Joke of the Day Posted on | September 25, 2011 | 1 Comment

Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations (AO):

1. Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area.

2. Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake.

3. Armor: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes.

4. Aviation: Has Global Positioning Satellite coordinates to snake. Can’t find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicure.

5. Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it.

6. Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage with three Forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered a success and all participants (i.e., cooks, mechanics and clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.

7. Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores all State Department directives and Theater Commander Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other snakes. Files enormous travel settlement upon return.

8. Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal thesis in obscure 5 series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using countermobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don’t understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake ops.

9. Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition and calls for naval gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites SEAL and retreats to safety. Hollywood makes fantasy film in which SEALS kill Muslim extremist snakes.

10. Navy: Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various types of ships, kills snake and makes presentation to Senate Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means of anti-snake force projection.

11. Marine: Kills snake by accident while looking for souvenirs. Local civilians demand removal of all US forces from Area of Operations.

12. Marine Recon: Follows snake, gets lost.

13. Combat Controllers: Guides snake elsewhere.

14. Para-Rescue Jumper: Wounds snake in initial encounter, then works feverishly to save snake’s life.

15. Supply: (NOTICE: Your anti-snake equipment is on backorder.)

16. Transport pilot: Receives call for anti-snake equipment, and delivers two weeks after due date.

17. F-15 pilot: Mis-identifies snake as enemy Mil-24 Hind helicopter and engages with missiles. Crew chief paints snake kill on aircraft.

18. F-16 pilot: Finds snake, drops two CBU-87 cluster bombs, and misses snake target, but get direct hit on Embassy 100 KM East of snake due to weather (Too Hot also Too Cold, Was Clear but too overcast, Too dry with Rain, Unlimited ceiling with low cloud cover etc.) Claims that purchasing multi-million dollar, high-tech snake-killing device will enable it in the future to kill all snakes and achieve a revolution in military affairs.

19. AH-64 Apache pilot: Unable to locate snake, snakes don’t show well on infra-red. Infrared only operable in desert AO’s without power lines or SAM’s.

20. UH-60 Blackhawk pilot: Finds snake on fourth pass after snake builds bonfire, pops smoke, lays out VS 17 to mark Landing Zone. Rotor wash blows snake into fire.

21. B-52 pilot: Pulls ARCLIGHT mission on snake, kills snake and every other living thing within two miles of target.

22. Missile crew: Lays in target coordinates to snake in 20 seconds, but can’t receive authorization from National Command Authority to use nuclear weapons.

23. Intelligence officer: Snake? What snake? Only four of 35 indicators of snake activity are currently active. We assess the potential for snake activity as LOW.

24. Judge Advocate General (JAG): Snake declines to bite, citing grounds of professional courtesy.

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Welfare Applications

For those unfamiliar, Welfare payments are made in the US to individuals and families with income below a level. The following quotations are taken from actual letters received by the Welfare Department in applications for support of receiving payments.

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.

I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?

Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for two years and has been visited regularly by the clergy.

I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell me why?

I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.

This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it.

Please find for if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can’t do anything until he knows.

I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.

In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a son weighing 10 lbs. I hope this is satisfactory.

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children one of which is a mistake as you can see.

My husband got his project cut off about two weeks ago and I haven’t had any relief since.

Unless I get my husband’s money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

You have my changed little boy to a girl, will this make any difference?

I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.

I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn’t do me any good. If things don’t improve, I will have to send for another doctor.

In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

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Three Golf partners

Three Golf partners, died in a car wreck and went to heaven.

Upon arrival they find they have never seen the most beautiful golf course. St. Peter tells them that they are all Welcome to play the course, but she cautions them there is only one rule: do not hit the ducks in the first three months here.

All men are empty phrases and, eventually, one of them asks you, "the Ducks?"

"Yes," St. Peter replied, "walking the course is made of millions of ducks and if one gets hit, he then one next to him the quacks quacks and soon they are all really the band and quacking overthrow it truncates the tranquility."If you hit, you will be subject to disciplinary action, the ducks, otherwise, all you need to enjoy. "

Upon arrival at the course, the men said, indeed, a large ducks everywhere. Fifteen minutes after one of the guys hit a duck. Duck quacked quacked and next to it is one of the deafening ROAR soon had the duck quacks.

St. Peter walked very cosy with a motor vehicle authorised to tow a woman, and asks, "Which hit a duck?"

The man who had done it admitted, "I."

St. Peter pulled off a pair of handcuffs and cuffed man's right hand woman left hand immediately comfortable. "I told you, hit ducks," he said. Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity. "

The other two men were very careful to hit any ducks, but a couple of weeks later, one of them had accidentally. Quacks was so deafening than before, and within minutes from St. Peter walked with the woman, even uglier. St. Peter cuffed man's right hand woman on the left hand of the cozy.

"I told you, hit ducks," he said. "Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity."

The third man was very carefully. Some days he Wouldn't even move of fear and even nudge the duck. Three months after this, he was hit on the duck. St. Peter walked a man at the end of three months, and had him Knock the most gorgeous woman, outgoing woman man had ever seen. St. Peter is a man who smiled and then, without a Word, handcuffed him with a beautiful woman and walked.

Man, knowing that he or she be handcuffed for this woman, happy sigh to eternity, and wondered aloud,

"I wonder what I did to deserve this?"

The woman answered, "I don't know about you, but hit a duck."

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