Three couples are trying to get married at the same church. There is a young couple, a middle-aged couple, and an elderly couple.
The three couples meet with the priest and discuss when they can get married.
"If you wish to get married in my church, you must all go one month without having sex," says the priest.
One month later the three couples return to the church and talk to the priest. He then asks the elderly couple, "Have you completed the month with sex?"
"Yes we have, it was easy," replies the elderly couple.
"How about you?" He asks the middle-aged couple.
"It was hard, but we didn't have sex for the whole month," they respond.
"And how about you two?" He asks the young couple.
"No we couldn't do it," responds the boyfriend.
"Tell me why," says the priest.
"Well my girlfriend had a can of corn in her hand and she accidentally dropped it. She bent over to pick it up and that's when it happened."
The priest then tells them, "You're not welcome in my church."
"We're not welcome in the supermarket either," says the boyfriend.
Thursday 6 December 2018
NASA Flight
NASA was preparing for the Apollo project.
When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, some of the training of the astronauts took place on a Navajo reservation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew.
The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question that his son translated. "What are these guys in the big suits doing?"
A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got all excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts.
Recognizing a promotional opportunity, the NASA folks found a tape recorder. After the old man recorded his message, they asked his son to translate it.
He refused. The NASA PR people brought the tape to the reservation, where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed, but refused to translate the elder's message.
Finally, the NASA crew called in an official government translator. His translation of the old man's message was:
"Watch out for these guys; they have come to steal your land."
When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, some of the training of the astronauts took place on a Navajo reservation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew.
The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question that his son translated. "What are these guys in the big suits doing?"
A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got all excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts.
Recognizing a promotional opportunity, the NASA folks found a tape recorder. After the old man recorded his message, they asked his son to translate it.
He refused. The NASA PR people brought the tape to the reservation, where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed, but refused to translate the elder's message.
Finally, the NASA crew called in an official government translator. His translation of the old man's message was:
"Watch out for these guys; they have come to steal your land."
Tuesday 4 December 2018
The Pope
So the Pope is SUPER early for his flight.
He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn't driven a car since becoming the pope.
Naturally, he's a bit rusty, so he's driving poorly, when suddenly he sees police lights behind him. He pulls over and when the officer comes up to the window his eyes go wide.
He says to the pope "Hold on for a minute," and goes back to his car to radio the chief. Cop: "Chief we have a situation.
I've pulled over an important figure." Chief: "How important? A governor or something?"
Cop: "No sir. He's bigger." Chief: "So, what? a celebrity or something?"
Cop: "More important, sir." Chief: "A major politician?"
Cop: "No sir, he's much more important." Chief: "WELL WHO IS IT!?"
Cop: "Well actually I'm not sure. But the pope's his driver."
He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn't driven a car since becoming the pope.
Naturally, he's a bit rusty, so he's driving poorly, when suddenly he sees police lights behind him. He pulls over and when the officer comes up to the window his eyes go wide.
He says to the pope "Hold on for a minute," and goes back to his car to radio the chief. Cop: "Chief we have a situation.
I've pulled over an important figure." Chief: "How important? A governor or something?"
Cop: "No sir. He's bigger." Chief: "So, what? a celebrity or something?"
Cop: "More important, sir." Chief: "A major politician?"
Cop: "No sir, he's much more important." Chief: "WELL WHO IS IT!?"
Cop: "Well actually I'm not sure. But the pope's his driver."
Monday 3 December 2018
Mexican Book store
A man is walking through his local mall and notices a Mexican book store.
He decides to go in because he has never seen a Mexican book store before. He browses through the store and finally asks the clerk,
"Do you have the book on Donald Trump's foreign policies with Mexico?"
The clerk replies, "F*ck you, get out, stay out!"
The man replies, "Yeah, that's the one!"
He decides to go in because he has never seen a Mexican book store before. He browses through the store and finally asks the clerk,
"Do you have the book on Donald Trump's foreign policies with Mexico?"
The clerk replies, "F*ck you, get out, stay out!"
The man replies, "Yeah, that's the one!"
Friday 30 November 2018
Chrismas
A poor man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The poor man asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?"
The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes."
The poor man asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?"
The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The poor man nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?"
The poor man thinks about it for a second and replies,
"A pair of slippers and a dildo." The rich man asks, "Why those two things?"
The poor man astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the slippers she can go f*ck herself."
The poor man asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?"
The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes."
The poor man asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?"
The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The poor man nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?"
The poor man thinks about it for a second and replies,
"A pair of slippers and a dildo." The rich man asks, "Why those two things?"
The poor man astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the slippers she can go f*ck herself."
Thursday 29 November 2018
The Train Driver
So there was this man in Bulgaria who drove trains for a living.
He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible.
Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution.
When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air - but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine. Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free.
Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people.
The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was once again unharmed. Well, this of course meant that he was free to go.
And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death.
On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas. "You know what? No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now."
Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless.
The man looked at the executioner and said, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."
He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible.
Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution.
When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air - but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine. Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free.
Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people.
The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was once again unharmed. Well, this of course meant that he was free to go.
And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death.
On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas. "You know what? No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now."
Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless.
The man looked at the executioner and said, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."
Monday 26 November 2018
Einstein
One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him: "I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"
The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."
"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"
So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.
But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question.
The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response. The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :
"Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him: "I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"
The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place."
"That's a great idea!" says Einstein. "Let's switch places then!"
So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.
But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won't be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question.
The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response. The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :
"Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I'm going to let my driver reply to it for me."
Saturday 24 November 2018
Monday 19 November 2018
Volunteer
While volunteering in a soup kitchen, I hit it off with a very attractive single man.
It was a relief, since my mother and I always laughed because the men to whom I was drawn were inevitably married.
So, optimistic about my chances, I asked my new friend what he did for a living.
He replied, “I’m a priest.”
It was a relief, since my mother and I always laughed because the men to whom I was drawn were inevitably married.
So, optimistic about my chances, I asked my new friend what he did for a living.
He replied, “I’m a priest.”
Saturday 17 November 2018
Santa
Dear Santa.
This Christmas, please send some clothes for all those poor ladies on Daddy's computer.
Chloe
This Christmas, please send some clothes for all those poor ladies on Daddy's computer.
Chloe
Thursday 15 November 2018
Bedroom
Mick walks into Paddy's barn and sees him dancing naked in front of a tractor.
Mick says "Oh no Paddy, what are you doing?"
Paddy says "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately and my therapist said I did something sexy to a tractor"
Mick says "Oh no Paddy, what are you doing?"
Paddy says "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately and my therapist said I did something sexy to a tractor"
Wednesday 14 November 2018
Christmas
An early warning as Christmas approaches ⚠️
The Police are out in numbers doing breath tests. Last night I’d had a few jars, a few jars led to a couple of Whiskeys! You know how it is 🤣
I did the wise thing left the car & got a bus home. Through the window, I could see the Police were stopping every other car but they waved the Bus through. 😄
I arrived home safely to my amazement. I’d never driven a Bus before.
God knows where I got it from 🤪
The Police are out in numbers doing breath tests. Last night I’d had a few jars, a few jars led to a couple of Whiskeys! You know how it is 🤣
I did the wise thing left the car & got a bus home. Through the window, I could see the Police were stopping every other car but they waved the Bus through. 😄
I arrived home safely to my amazement. I’d never driven a Bus before.
God knows where I got it from 🤪
Old Age
An old guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID.
"You've got to be kidding," he said. "I'm almost 60 years old."
The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license.
The guy showed his ID, then paid and told the bartender to keep the change.
"The tip's for carding me," he said. The bartender put the change in the tip cup.
"Thanks," he said. "Works every time."
"You've got to be kidding," he said. "I'm almost 60 years old."
The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license.
The guy showed his ID, then paid and told the bartender to keep the change.
"The tip's for carding me," he said. The bartender put the change in the tip cup.
"Thanks," he said. "Works every time."
Tuesday 13 November 2018
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds a bear, and attempts to convert it.
Later, they all get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.”
“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”
Later, they all get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.”
“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”
Thursday 8 November 2018
Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill.
And now there's little Frankie...
Silly Jill forgot her pill.
And now there's little Frankie...
Saturday 3 November 2018
Friday 2 November 2018
Father
Boss: Where were you yesterday, there was no one to cover your shift
Employee: I'm sorry, I was becoming a father yesterday.
Boss: That's great, boy or girl?
Employee: I'll tell you in 6 months
Boss: You're fired
Employee: I'm sorry, I was becoming a father yesterday.
Boss: That's great, boy or girl?
Employee: I'll tell you in 6 months
Boss: You're fired
Thursday 1 November 2018
Christmas Eve
It was Christmas Eve and a woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping.
Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg.
"What is that?" he asked. She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'"
Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do that?"
"Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!"
Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg.
"What is that?" he asked. She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'"
Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do that?"
"Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!"
Wednesday 31 October 2018
Job interview
Interviewer: What do you think is your greatest weakness.
Job seeker: Honesty
Interviewer: I don't think that's a weakness.
Job seeker: I don't give a shit what you think
Job seeker: Honesty
Interviewer: I don't think that's a weakness.
Job seeker: I don't give a shit what you think
Tuesday 30 October 2018
The Pub
Mr. Grab your coat, I'm off to the pub.
Mrs. Oh, am I coming.
Mr. No, I'm turning the heating off.
Mrs. Oh, am I coming.
Mr. No, I'm turning the heating off.
Monday 29 October 2018
Seizures
“My dog has seizures and in an effort to try to determine what caused them, he went in for a cat scan. When we brought him home, his head was completely shaved and he had dark blue permanent marker dots to indicate where to inject the lidocaine for his procedure. The following morning when I got up, my dog’s head was now also covered in bright green marker lines… I asked my daughter who was about 4 or 5 at the time what happened.. and with the biggest, proudest grin on her face she informed me that she connected gus’s dots…. yup she sure did and we were very sorry to see the hair grow back eventually!”
Sunday 28 October 2018
The Kids Today
“My 4 year old grandson and I were watching Barney on TV one afternoon.
I commented that my grandfather’s name was Barney.
He turned to me and said, ” Was he purple too.”
Saturday 27 October 2018
Two Yuppettes
Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said,
“Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I’ve been so upset I’ve lost 20 pounds.”
“Why don’t you just leave him then?” asked her friend.
“Oh! Not yet.” the first replied, “I’d like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first.”
Thursday 25 October 2018
Raw Materials
In school one day, the teacher decided that for science class she would teach about raw materials. She stood in the front of the class and said,
“Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?”
Little Stevie raised his hand and said “I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Corvette.”
The teacher nodded and called on little Susie. Little Susie said, “I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche”
The teacher smiled and then called on Little Adam. Little Adam stood up and said, “I would want silicon.”
The teacher said, “Adam, why silicon?”
“Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars parked outside of our house!!”
Tuesday 23 October 2018
Monday 22 October 2018
drug dealer.
I bought some trainers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
Bank
I was at the bank today and this senior citizen asked me to check his balance.
Not wishing to be rude, I obliged and pushed him over.
Not wishing to be rude, I obliged and pushed him over.
Sunday 21 October 2018
Saturday 20 October 2018
Tight Ass
A boy finished cutting the lawn of a priest. The grass was very thick and long, and it took the boy about 4 hours to cut.
He approached the Father to ask for payment and the priest paid him $1.00.
The boy said “Thank you, virgin Father!”
The priest replied, “What did you say?”
The boy repeated, “Thank you, virgin Father!”
The priest asked him, “Do you know what that means?”
The boy replied, “Yes…. tight ass!”....
Friday 19 October 2018
Orgasm
Husband asks wife why she doesn't tell him when she has an orgasm.
She replied.
"Because you told me not to ring you at work"!
She replied.
"Because you told me not to ring you at work"!
Thursday 18 October 2018
Wednesday 17 October 2018
Seizures
“My dog has seizures and in an effort to try to determine what caused them, he went in for a cat scan. When we brought him home, his head was completely shaved and he had dark blue permanent marker dots to indicate where to inject the lidocaine for his procedure.
The following morning when I got up, my dog’s head was now also covered in bright green marker lines… I asked my daughter, who was about 4 or 5 at the time, what happened.. and with the biggest, proudest grin on her face she informed me that she connected Gus’s dots….
She sure did and we were very sorry to see the hair grow back eventually!”
Tuesday 16 October 2018
Raw Materials
In school one day, the teacher decided that for science class she would teach about raw materials. She stood in the front of the class and said,
“Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?”
Little Stevie raised his hand and said “I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Corvette.”
The teacher nodded and called on little Susie. Little Susie said, “I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche”
The teacher smiled and then called on Little Adam. Little Adam stood up and said, “I would want silicon.”
The teacher said, “Adam, why silicon?”
“Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars parked outside of our house!!”
The Kids Today
“My 4 year old grandson and I were watching Barney on TV one afternoon. I commented that my grandfather’s name was Barney. He turned to me and said, ” Was he purple too.”
Monday 15 October 2018
Gardening
The Italian Tomato Garden
An Old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies.
Love, Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you, Vinnie
Saturday 13 October 2018
Arguments
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel
3. He didn't get a fair trial
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature
2. He ate a lot of fish
3. He talked about the Great Spirit
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1.. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do
Can I get an AMEN!!
1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel
3. He didn't get a fair trial
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature
2. He ate a lot of fish
3. He talked about the Great Spirit
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1.. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do
Can I get an AMEN!!
Friday 12 October 2018
Drugs have two names
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: 'MOUNT & DO'.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely NO recollection of what to do with them.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: 'MOUNT & DO'.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely NO recollection of what to do with them.
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