Showing posts with label Diary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Diary. Show all posts

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Viagra diary

Viagra diary


1 day.
Celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary only with a lot to celebrate. When it came to reenact our wedding night time, he locked himself in the bathroom, and cried.


Day 2.
Today, he says that he has a big secret to tell me. He is impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why does he tell me something I don't know!I mean, gimme a break. [1] [2] he has been distorted, for so long he even walks with a limp.


Day 3.
Marriage problems. Woman needs. Yesterday, the picture of the Washington Monument and thus incorporated into the screens burst.


Day 4.
There has been a miracle! No new drug on the market, which resolves the problem of ' his '. It is called Viagra. I told him that if he does Viagra, things are just as if they were our wedding night.He said, "this time I am rather would not have their own mother join."I believe that this has been replaced by His works. [1] [2] Prozac Viagra hope to something other than his mood.


7 day.
This Viagra case has gone to his head. [1] [2] is not intended to be red! Yesterday is a Burger King, the Director asked me if I like Whopper. He thought they were talking about him.Get over yourself!Not everything is about you! But must admit …


Day 8.
I think he took too much over the weekend. Yesterday instead of field work, lawn, he was using the new friend artificial whacker.Sore as hell …


Day 10.
Okay, I admit it I'm hiding. I mean, the girl takes only so much matters worse,. in order to ensure that he or she is washing and Viagra hard cider with!Janet Reno photo does not work.What am I to do? I feel tacky all over


Day 11.
Side-effects begin to get to him.Everything is turning blue. [1] [2] of the day, we had been watching the Hamlet and he thought it was "the Smurfs Don't Denmark."Even my armpits to hurt.He is a nasty man.


Day 12.
OK I have, in principle, are drilled to death. [1] [2] it is going to Black & Decker power tool.I woke up this morning with hot-glued to the bed.


Day 13.
I hope that he was gay. [1] [2] Liza Minelli albums I bought 400 and keep saying "fabulous" and remain in full force and effect as if he pursued all his professional activity to keep coming after me!, although the yawning has become a dangerous …


Day 14.
Now I know how Saddam Hussein's wife believes. every time I close my eyes, is a fast attack!, it is going to sleep with scud missile. Suppose he is not hope, such as ex-President Bush, and then click to clear the 100 days. [1] [2] I can walk barely and if he tries to that "Oops, sorry," butt thing again, I am never gonna kill him.


15 day.
You have done all the heavy goods vehicles for the use of anything in the works for him. [3] [4]. I started even dressing like a nun. "now he tells me," Sister Wendy "makes" the father of Woody "to dog … such as kaarnaAuta me.


16 day.
I'm starting all I sit. fear him longer cats and neighbors. last night I said to him, screw, he made himself …. I think I have to kill him. [1] [2] then he go he wants to visit … My happiness characterized by the way. (I) do not need to be able to close the casket.


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Tuesday, 5 April 2011

Viagra Diary

Joke of the Day Posted on | November 22, 2010 | No Comments

Viagra Diary

Day 1.
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to reenact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.

Day 2.
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He’s impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn’t he tell me something I don’t know! I mean, gimme a break. He’s been dysfunctional for so long that he even walks with a limp.

Day 3.
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of the Washington Monument and burst into tears.

Day 4.
A miracle has happened! There’s a new drug on the market that will fix his ‘problem.’ It’s called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. He said, ‘this time, I’d rather not have your mother join us.’ I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.

Day 7.
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I’d like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. Get over yourself! Not everything is about you! But, have to admit…

Day 8.
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed whacker. Sore as hell…

Day 10.
Okay, I admit it. I’m hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And to make matters worse, he’s washing the Viagra down with hard cider! The photo of Janet Reno isn’t working. What am I gonna do? I feel tacky all over…

Day 11.
The side effects are starting to get to him. Everything is turning blue. The other day, we were watching Hamlet and he thought it was “The Smurfs Do Denmark.” Even my armpits hurt. He’s a nasty man.

Day 12.
OK, I’m basically being drilled to death. It’s like going out with a Black and Decker power tool. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed.

Day 13.
I wish he was gay. I bought 400 Liza Minelli albums and I keep saying ‘fabulous,’ and still he keeps coming after me! Even yawning has become dangerous…

Day 14.
Now I know how Saddam Hussein’s wife feels. Every time I shut my eyes, there’s a sneak attack! It’s like going to bed with a scud missile. Let’s hope he’s not like ex-President Bush and takes 100 days to pull out. I can hardly walk and if he tries that “Oops, sorry” butt-thing again, I’m gonna kill him.

Day 15.
I’ve done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun. Now he tells me “Sister Wendy” makes “Father Woody” want to bark like a dog… Help me.

Day 16.
I’m starting to adhere to everything I sit on. The cats are afraid of him and the neighbors no longer come over. Last night I told him to screw himself… he did. I think I will have to kill him. Then he’ll go out the way he wants to… stiff. With my luck, I won’t be able to close the casket.


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