Office Manager

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. “What’s your name?” he asked the new guy.

“John,” the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, “Look… I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only … Smith, Jones, Baker … That’s all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?”

The new guy sighed, “Darling. My name is John Darling.”

“Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . . “

BERLITZ GUIDE TO THE OFFICE LANGUAGE

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps all over everything and then leaves.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

FLIGHT RISK: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.

OHNO-SECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake. Like making the selection that reformats your hard drive.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

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Trimming on the doctor's Office

A man walks trimming the doctor's Office. As he approaches the reception, the receptionist asks,

"Sir, can we help you?"

-There is something wrong with my penis, "she tells him.

Receptionist indignantly corresponds to the ' Sir, you need shouldn't come into the Office and say something to rude "

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you, "he says.

"Because the" responses may be charged a fee. "You have caused some of the people in this room full of embarrassment. You have said, there is something wrong with the ear, or something, and discusses the problem in more detail with a private doctor. "

Man walks, wait a few minutes, and reenters. Receptionist Smiles smugly, and asks

"Yes?"

-There is something wrong in my ear, "he says.

Receptionist nods approvingly.

"And what is wrong with the ear, sir?"

"It will burn when I piss on" the man replied.

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Office Manager

Joke of the Day Posted on | September 11, 2011 | No Comments

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. “What’s your name?” he asked the new guy.

“John,” the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, “Look… I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only … Smith, Jones, Baker … That’s all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?”

The new guy sighed, “Darling. My name is John Darling.”

“Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . . “

View the original article here

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Crowded Doctor’s Office

A man walks into a crowded doctor’s office. As he approaches the desk, the receptionist asks,

“Sir, may we help you?”

“There’s something wrong with my penis,” he informs her.

The receptionist indignantly responds, “Sir, You shouldn’t come into a crowded office and say something like that.”

“Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,” he says.

“Because” replies the receptionist. “You’ve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there’s something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the doctor in private.”

The man walks out, waits several minutes, and reenters. The receptionist smiles smugly and asks,

“Yes?”

“There’s something wrong with my ear,” he states.

The receptionist nods approvingly.

“And what is wrong with your ear, sir?”

“It burns when I piss out of it” the man replied.

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Chocolate Calculator [Office Product]

Check out this sweet gift idea.
It'll crunch numbers, but don't try to crunch it back !
This awesome calculator looks just like the real thing, and best of all, the chocolate won't melt in your hands.
Did we mention it's also Chocolate Scented ? 'Nuff said.


Measures 2.5" H x 4.5" W
Comes wrapped in foil and paper, just like a real bar of chocolate
Mouthwatering chocolate scent
Solar powered, no batteries required
Perfectly sized for handbags, glove compartments and desk drawers
A great gift for your favorite math-challenged chocoholic

Price:

Click here to buy from Amazon