Costume Party

A couple was going to a costume party. The husband was unsure of what costume to wear. His wife was telling him to hurry or they would be late for the party. She was walking down the stairs from the bedroom, completely naked except on her feet were a big old floppy pair of boots.

“Where’s your costume?” the husband asked.

“This is it,” replied his wife.

“What the heck kind of costume is that?” asked the husband.

“Why, I am going as Puss in Boots,” explains the wife. “Now hurry and get your costume on.”

The husband went upstairs and was back in about two minutes. He also was completely naked except he had a rose vase slid over his penis.

“What the heck kind of costume is that?” asked the wife.

“I am a fire alarm,” he replied.

“A fire alarm?” she repeated laughing.

“Yes,” he replied. “In case of fire break the glass, pull twice and I come.”

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The surprise party

Posted on Day joke | 15. October 2010 | No Comments

It was my Birthday the day before the eighteenth. Had to live at home, but my parents had decreased in the evening, so I asked my girlfriend for more than a romantic night alone.We are making the presentation of the bed after love, we heard the phone ring downstairs. I proposed to my girlfriend that I will give unto him Piggyback ride to your phone.

Because we want to not miss a call, we did not get the incisors erupted through the gum.

When we got the stairs to the bottom of the page, all of a sudden the lights and the whole crowd became human yelled, "SURPRISE!"

The entire family, aunts, uncles, Grandparents, cousins, and all of my friends was standing there.

My girlfriend and was not frozen, of electric and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity passed condition. After this, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again.

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Your Favorite Party Jokes [VHS]

In 1969, five overeducated British comics and an American illustrator ambushed the BBC with the strangest show in British history. How they got on the air is anyone's guess (rumors of blackmail were quickly hushed, though the Python's penchant for sheep gags... but enough of speculation), but their irreverent writing and ludicrous gags transformed the sketch comedy show into a stream-of-consciousness loony bin of absurdity, connected by the outrageous animations of Terry Gilliam. In these first episodes, you can see the sextet working out their technique, mixing music-hall slapstick with their zany brand of ridiculousness. Episode 1, "Whither Canada," features the Funniest Joke in the World (a.k.a. the Killer Joke, which is really nothing other than German gibberish, but don't tell anyone), as well as Famous Deaths Through History hosted by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (John Cleese in a silly wig), interviews with Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson and celebrated film director Sir Edward "Don't call me Eddie Baby" Ross, and a strange fascination with pigs. Episode 2, the teasingly titled "Sex and Violence," features John Cleese and Michael Palin as a pair of French inventors trading mustaches while explaining the finer points of sheep aviation, a man with three buttocks, an investigative report into the mouse crisis, and a wrestling match (two of three falls) to determine the existence of God. --Sean Axmaker

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Surprise Party

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 15, 2010 | No Comments

It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone.

Since we didn’t want to miss the call, we didn’t have time to get dressed.

When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled,”SURPRISE!!!”

My entire family, aunts, uncles, Grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there.

My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again.

View the original article here

12 Funny Jokes to Tell at Your Next Party

There's an old saying: That which doesn't kill us... is an open target to making a joke out of it! If you have ever been married, divorced, single, dated or interacted with other people on this earth you might laugh at the following jokes:

1. Have a Happy Birthday but don't celebrate with a glass of wine; I hear the wine-stompers in Italy are having a sit-in.

2. I hate it when my boobs itch, it's like trying to scratch jello.

3. They are coming up with a new Viagra-like drug for women, it's called, Ho-Zak.

4. I knew our marriage was over when we saw a counselor and he asked me if it was difficult to please my husband. I thought for a moment and replied, "I don't know, I've never tried."

5. I should have known our marriage wasn't going to last by the way my then husband-to-be proposed to me. He got down on bended knee, took my hand, looked me in the eye and said, "I'd like you to take my last name...and add it to your checking account."

6. How come when you meet the right person you know immediately but when you meet the wrong person it takes ten years of marriage to find out?

7. My fanatical religious neighbors had twins. As expected they gave the children Biblical names but who expected the names to be First and Second Thessalonians.

8. For the 10th wedding anniversary the traditional gift is Tin. On our 10th anniversary I should have been presented with gold bars!

9. My ex finally saw a doctor after we divorced. They discovered that he had multiple personalities...one was a thief, one was a liar, one was mean and one was a lazy son of a gun!

10. I asked the Lord: 'Lord, what's a million dollars to you?' The Lord replied, " A Penny." I asked, 'Lord, what is a million dollars to you?' The Lord replied, "A second." I asked, 'Can I have a penny?' The Lord answered, "Just a second."

11. In the book of Deuteronomy, Moses gave three long sermons and then died. Three long sermons can kill anyone.

12. I need to start dating older men. My last date came running to my car... wearing tennis shoes... that lit up.

Kelly Smith is a Corporate Recruiter Consultant. Kelly works alongside human resources and hiring managers to source, screen, review resumes, interview, negotiate and extend offers to thousands of candidates throughout her more than 15 years in staffing. Visit Kelly's web site at http://KellyStaffingExpert.com see her blog, view jobs, and visit her store to buy her book, The Recruiter's Hiring Secrets. Also, in the store link you can send Kelly your resume for her to review and to make recommendations from her corporate recruiter perspective. Happy Job Hunting!

One Dozen (12) Whoopee Cushion Party Favors

Get a laugh when you leave one of these rubber cushions of air on a friend's chair. A classic prank these whoopee cushions make hilarious gag gifts for kids of all ages. 8"

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Lot of 12 Party String Crazy Silly Assorted Color 250ml

What makes a crazy-wild party even crazy-wilder? A big blast of Party Crazy String! Each bottle from this set of 12 contains 250ml of brightly colored, aerosol powered, Party Crazy String, ready to blast forth at the push of a button! That's 33% more spongy, silly, spraytastic string! The set includes 2 of each color: Red, Orange, Purple, Blue, Green, and Yellow. Whether you're gearing up for the best birthday blowout, scheming for school dance shenanigans, or planning an unforgettable company picnic, opening up the Party Crazy String is always the right decision! Get yours today!

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Let's Party: The National Bad Taste Comedy Finals

If you dig raunchy humor and dirty jokes, with occasional lapses in good taste, you've picked up the right video! Put it on, and you'll hear some of today's most personable purveyors of prurient palaver competing for the right to be called THE WORLD'S FUNNIEST DIRTY PERFORMER. And they really go for it. They don't pull a punch line. Double entendres become single entendres. And there is no depth to which they will not sink in order to evoke a little mucky mirth. our tarnished-tongued humorists include: JACKIE GROSS, JOE RESTIVO, STANLEY RALPH ROSS, BIFF MANARD, DON HANVEY, JACK PERDUE, JOHN FOX, JOHN GRAIMAN, CARRIE SNOW, DAVID TYREE, ROBERT SCHIMMEL, and RICHARD BARSH. Some of it may shock you, rock you, and even revolt you, but I can promise you one thing: Youre Gonna Laugh!

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