There is a need for a common

Posted on Day joke | 14. October 2010 | No Comments

Q: what Christmas tree and the priest is the common?
(A) the balls are decoration!

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The surprise party

Posted on Day joke | 15. October 2010 | No Comments

It was my Birthday the day before the eighteenth. Had to live at home, but my parents had decreased in the evening, so I asked my girlfriend for more than a romantic night alone.We are making the presentation of the bed after love, we heard the phone ring downstairs. I proposed to my girlfriend that I will give unto him Piggyback ride to your phone.

Because we want to not miss a call, we did not get the incisors erupted through the gum.

When we got the stairs to the bottom of the page, all of a sudden the lights and the whole crowd became human yelled, "SURPRISE!"

The entire family, aunts, uncles, Grandparents, cousins, and all of my friends was standing there.

My girlfriend and was not frozen, of electric and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity passed condition. After this, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again.

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Embarrassing problem

Posted on Day joke | 16. October 2010 | No Comments

A young couple decided to wed.Because of the great day approached increased apprehensive. each was embarrassing problem, they never previously shared with anyone, not even with each other.

Groom, overcoming his fear of out-of-the-box, decide to ask the advice of his father.

"Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage and my fiancee. I love very much, but you know, I have a very swimming feet and I fear that in the future, my wife, they revolted."

"Not a problem," said the father, "all you have to do is to wash your feet as often as possible and in any event be used always stockings, even to sleep."

No to him, this seemed a working solution.

Overcoming his fear of the bride-to-be decided to take up his mother in his issue.

"Mother," he said, "when I wake up my breath is really terrible morning."

"Honey," his mother consoled, "everyone has a bad breath in the morning."

"No, you do not understand."Morning breath is so disgustingly bad, I fear, the new my husband to sleep in the same room with me. "

His mother said simply, "try this in the morning you can get directly to the bed. [1] [2], and head for the bathroom and brush my teeth. [1] [2] the key is to say a word until you've Brushed my teeth. [1] [2] is not the word" his mother the formal.

No he thought, it was certainly a test.

Finally, a beautiful Loving couple were married without forgetting the advice of the ceremony. [1] [2] each had received, he his everlasting socks and with his morning silence he, BA, they managed quite well. [1] [2] that is to say approximately six months later.

Before the advent of the husband wake up getting started to find one of his socks had become Fearful of the consequences of, he, as the case may be. hädissäni searches for This, of course, the raised bed. [1] [2] his bride and he immediately without thinking, changes to face him and asks

"What, you make the country?"

"Oh, no!" he gasped in shock, "You've eaten one of my socks!"

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On behalf of another person

Posted on Day joke | 17. October 2010 | No Comments

The angel appears in the meeting of the Faculty of and tells you to clean that his unselfish and in return, the Lord will reward esimerkillisellä problem with him in a system with a notified body of his infinite wealth, infinite wisdom or infinite beauty.

Without Hesitating, selects an infinite wisdom to clean.

"Done!", says Angel and a cloud of smoke and bolt Flash disappears.

Now all the heads turn towards a clean, dark, halo of light which sits surrounded by one of the colleagues whispers is a long period of time,

"Say something".

To clean sighs and says, "I should take the money."

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Find it difficult to

Posted on Day joke | 9. October 2010 | No Comments

The two men are just fishing softly and beer drinking.

Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, "I have a good faith belief that the divorce of my wife. [1] [2] he has not spoken to me 2 months."

Charles still sipping slowly his beer then thoughtfully says

' Better, that I think it over, Bob. Women such as that it is difficult to find."

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Gold Boy Scout Knives

Posted on Day joke | 10. October 2010 | No Comments

Lisa, strikingly beautiful young Brunette sat William fancy restaurant table size. he smiled William already proposes to him.

"I'm not sure I would like to think of it."; "he replied.

William crushed, but it kept his composure. Dinner after they went to his location.The romantic atmosphere and William was eager to make Lisa loves.

He stopped him and said, "before we get married, or even make love, I would like to buy me something"

"Make sure that the name of my love for you., pearl necklace, car, diamond earrings, it is named."

"I want to solid gold Boy Scout knife."

Stunned, William asked, "but why? you can buy you anything you want. why it is solid gold Boy Scout knife?"

"I can not tell, but does not do for you until you receive one love."

William searching high and low, but could not find such a knife.Desperate, he was the one who creates the jeweler to him.

They met in his place a romantic evening, the next time he again proposed the introduction of their loves. again, he said, he could not and did not receive the first solid gold Boy Scout knife.

With a smile, he gave him a small gift wrapped box.

He carefully opened it and saw knife. [1] [2] they went, if he or she begins the great hope chest in his bed at the bedroom. He may within the knife, but not before William saw a hope chest contents. it was full of Boy Scout Knifes solid gold.

"What is this?" the whole thing is full of gold Boy Scout knives? Why you ask for me gold razor when you already have so much? "

"I can tell you," he replied.

After several minutes of Badgering, he relented and said

"The intrinsic merits of I will be older. my hair turn gray, my face begins to get wrinkles and my beauty Fades, it's a good idea to me then That.? but do you know what the Boy Scout should make one of these knives?"

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Aladdin Genie

Posted on day joke | 29 September 2010 | No Comments

Three American blonds lost during Vietnam (war), it was the water is not in compliance with the food days.

When walking they met the Aladdin Genie, and he says: "I'll give u between two wants to"

1. says: "I want to bring me one u" diet cola "and sends me back to my family in the Americas much cuz I miss, and so he was back to the States happily.

2Nd says "I want to send me back to my son and give me u 50 $ so I can buy him at this time, and so he was back to kissing his man pleasantly is found.

3Rd was like heeeeeey u smart ass u Think u you intelligent when sending my friend me ha. out so I all alone, brings them back right now.

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Your Favorite Party Jokes [VHS]

In 1969, five overeducated British comics and an American illustrator ambushed the BBC with the strangest show in British history. How they got on the air is anyone's guess (rumors of blackmail were quickly hushed, though the Python's penchant for sheep gags... but enough of speculation), but their irreverent writing and ludicrous gags transformed the sketch comedy show into a stream-of-consciousness loony bin of absurdity, connected by the outrageous animations of Terry Gilliam. In these first episodes, you can see the sextet working out their technique, mixing music-hall slapstick with their zany brand of ridiculousness. Episode 1, "Whither Canada," features the Funniest Joke in the World (a.k.a. the Killer Joke, which is really nothing other than German gibberish, but don't tell anyone), as well as Famous Deaths Through History hosted by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (John Cleese in a silly wig), interviews with Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson and celebrated film director Sir Edward "Don't call me Eddie Baby" Ross, and a strange fascination with pigs. Episode 2, the teasingly titled "Sex and Violence," features John Cleese and Michael Palin as a pair of French inventors trading mustaches while explaining the finer points of sheep aviation, a man with three buttocks, an investigative report into the mouse crisis, and a wrestling match (two of three falls) to determine the existence of God. --Sean Axmaker

Price: $10.95

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Biology and Sociology

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 23, 2010 | No Comments

Q: What’s the difference between Biology and Sociology?
A: When the baby look like the father, its Biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbor, its Sociology!

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Business is Business

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 24, 2010 | 1 Comment

One day in a school in London, a teacher said to a class of 5-year-olds…

I’ll give 10 pounds to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived.”

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, “It was St. Patrick.”

The teacher said, “Sorry Paddy, that’s not correct.”

Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, “It was St. Andrew.”

The teacher replied, “I’m sorry, Hamish, that’s not right either.”

Then a Jewish boy put his hand up and said “David”,

The Buddhist boy said “Gautama Buddha” and the Muslim boy said “Mohammed”.

They all were not successful.

Finally, a Gujju boy raised his hand and said, “It was Jesus Christ.”

The teacher said, “That’s absolutely right, Jignesh, come up here and I’ll give you the 10 pounds that I promised.”

As the teacher was giving Jignesh his money, she said, “You know Jignesh, since you’re a Hindu Gujarati; I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ.”

Jignesh replied, “Yes. In my heart I knew it was Krishna, but Bijness is Bijness!!!!!!

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Angel

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 26, 2010 | No Comments

First Guy (proudly) : “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy : “You’re fortunate, mine’s still alive.”

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How many were there?

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 28, 2010 | 1 Comment

A man and a woman had been married some time when the woman began to question her husband. “I know you’ve been with a lot of woman before. How many were there?”

The husband replied, “Look, I don’t want to upset you, there were many. Let’s just leave it alone.” The wife continued to beg and plead.

Finally, the husband gave in. “Let’s see.” he said “There was one, two, three, four, five, six, YOU, eight, nine, “

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A Male Gynecologist

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 30, 2010 | No Comments

“A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.”

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Daughter’s Room

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 11, 2010 | No Comments

There’s an Englishman, Irishman & Scotsman all talking about their teenage daughters.

The Englishman says “I was cleaning my daughter’s room the other day and found a packet of cigarettes. I didn’t even know she smoked”.

The Scotsman says “That’s nothing. I was cleaning my daughter’s room the other day when I came across a full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn’t even know she drank”.

The the Irishman speaks up. “Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter’s room the other day when I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn’t even know she had a penis”.

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Rosvo Ski mask with

Posted on day joke | 1. October 2010 | No Comments

Getting ready to close the Bartender was night rosvo ski mask with burst in and pulls a gun.

He yells, Bartender, "this is the stick up! Place the dough this bag! "

Cowed Bartender relies on the "Don't shoot, please! I do as you say! "

Rosvo yells, "turn off and empty the cash register!"

Bartender says, "Okay, Okay!Only do not shoot, I'm a wife and kids!I make you say! "

Take the money then place the Crook the gun to the head and the Bartender says, "Alright, now give me a blowjob!"

"No!" cries Bartender, "just Don't Shoot!"

Bartender start crook blow. as the crook may be excited, he falls to the gun. Bartender sees the gun on the floor, selects, to dispose of it back to the crook and yells,

"Hold the gun, damn it!, one of my friends can walk!"

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Surprise Party

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 15, 2010 | No Comments

It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone.

Since we didn’t want to miss the call, we didn’t have time to get dressed.

When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled,”SURPRISE!!!”

My entire family, aunts, uncles, Grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there.

My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again.

View the original article here

Embarrassing Problem

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 16, 2010 | No Comments

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had an embarrassing problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.

The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice.

“Father,” he said, “I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage. I love my fiancée, very much, but you know, I have extremely smelly feet, and I’m afraid that my future wife will be revolted by them.”

“No problem,” said dad, “all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed.”

Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.

The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up her mom.

“Mom,” she said, “When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful.”

“Honey,” her mother consoled, “everyone has bad breath in the morning.”

“No, you don’t understand. My morning breath is so disgustingly bad, I’m afraid that my new husband will not want to sleep in the same room with me.”

Her mother said simply, “Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you’ve brushed your teeth. Not a word,” her mother affirmed.

Well, she thought it was certainly worth a try.

The loving couple were finally married in a beautiful ceremony. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later.

Shortly before dawn, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, woke his bride and without thinking, she immediately turns to face him and asks,

“What on earth are you doing?”

“Oh, no!” he gasped in shock, “You’ve eaten one of my socks!”

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Reward

Joke of the Day Posted on | October 17, 2010 | No Comments

An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, infinite wisdom, or infinite beauty.

Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.

“Done!” says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.

Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers,

“Say something.”

The dean sighs and says, “I should have taken the money.”

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