Thursday 11 November 2010

Worst First date ever!

THIS IS A TRUE STORY, BELIEVE IT OR NOT

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down
when you read it.  This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!  We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first
date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date
experience.

There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold... and the guy had
taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah.
It was a day trip (no overnight).  They were strangers, after all, and
had never met before.  The outing was fun but relatively uneventful
until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to
realize that she should not have had that extra latte.  They were
about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of
nowhere!  Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did
for a while.  Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going,
there came a point here she told him that he had better stop and let
her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her
pants down and started.  In the deep snow she didn't have good
footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady
herself.  Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for
traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.
All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather
embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her
buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.  Thoughts of
tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to
disengage her flesh from the icy metal.  It was quickly apparent that
she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.  

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
answered her date's concerns about' what is taking so long' with a
reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some
assistance!  He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with
her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he
burst out laughing.  She too, got the giggles and when they finally
managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.  Obviously,
as
hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real
problem.

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from
the grip of the icy metal!  Thinking about what had gotten her into
the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there
was only one way to get her free.  So, as she looked the other way,
her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off
the fender.  

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize
hands down.  Or perhaps that should be 'pants down'.  And you thought
your first date was embarrassing.  Jay Leno's comment...  'This gives
a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'

Oh and how did the first date turn out?  He became her husband and was
sitting next to her on the Leno show.

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