This is particularly to the single men. Even if you have a girlfriend, but not yet married, it is also applicable to you. We meet a lot of people and we get familiarize with some. Sometimes the familiarity becomes so strong that we become so free and outspoken to each other. If a woman is involved, you are advised to watch it. You may crack some jokes which may send a different impression to the lady you are communicating with and you never can tell how seriously she will take it. If you do not really understand what I mean, read this little experience I had.
I had a neighbor whom I considered a friend and just a neighbor and of all the ladies around me, I considered her the last person I could ever be in a relationship with. Not because she isn't beautiful but because I was so used to her company and she was just like a younger sister to me. I moved into another apartment and after about some months, we became very close. I enjoyed her company to the fullest and I began admiring her. Most of all, we joked by calling each other names like "my husband", "my wife" and I sometimes took her out just to have some company, if there was an event I paid for her so that we could go together. Finally, the main thing happened. I fell deeply in love with her. I loved her so much that I could not stand seeing her without having tachycardia, hypertension and perspiration simultaneously. It was like magic I could not withstand or a predictable movie actually coming true. I kept this for some weeks, even as we continued our usual "acquaintance" but on a Sunday, I could not hold it back.
Though, as a guy, I should expect any answer from a lady. That I knew and I had prepared myself for. Also, ladies could be "protective" and may want to play with the men first before they finally agree-that, I was also prepared for. With all my inquiries, little research and knowledge about her, I knew she had no one as an intimate companion. SO my chances where quite high. After unleashing the bomb, I was the one who got burnt. How! She told me of a time when we were still neighbors, we were both in the kitchen cooking. She asked me of my relationship status and I told her I was still single. She asked why and I joked "there are available ladies at my disposal and I can get any of them when I want". It was just a joke, so I meant, but it wasn't how she took it. She told me she took it seriously and she felt I was indirectly referring to her, so she decided to "lock-up" her heart and promised herself that no matter what, she can never fall in love with me". Well, I do not know how that works, but the point is simple, my "egocentric" joke haunted me later.
Ladies tend to be very sensitive and as a mechanism of their own security, follow and strongly believe in their own instincts. If they observe an event, they strongly hold on to any conclusion they derive from it. You may see a lady and believe in your heart "she is the last girl I can ever date"- you never can tell what may happen later. Falling in Love is a thing of the heart and if the heart yields, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. I was very transparent when making that joke but right now, I regret saying it. There is the possibility that she may have considered the idea of being my girl, considering the fact that she felt I was indirectly referring to her, but that chance has been blown away. No matter what, we should be very sensitive to the kind of jokes we make to the ladies because the woman is such a complex being and what you might take lightly is what she will take seriously and also what you might take seriously, she may treat it as insignificant. Some years back, in the class where a potential black "wife-material" was also present, my Caucasian philosophy lecturer asked me of the kind of lady I would love to marry, I told her I preferred a Caucasian lady to a black one. I guess I blew that chance too.
No matter how our activities (we the men) have placed us highly in the family and society, it is a woman's world and since they are very sensitive, we also need to be very sensitive and careful in order give them the right impressions about what we think, say or do. Take it or leave it!, egocentric jokes could be damaging, SIMPLE AVOID THEM!
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