Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Stupid True Headlines


- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says


- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers


- Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted


- Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case


- Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents


- Farmer Bill Dies in House


- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms


- Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?


- Stud Tires Out


- Prostitutes Appeal to Pope


- Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over


- Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again


- British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands


- Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms


- Eye Drops off Shelf


- Teacher Strikes Idle Kids


- Include your Children When Baking Cookies


- Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim


- Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66


- Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Axe


- Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told


- Miners Refuse to Work after Death


- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant


- Stolen Painting Found by Tree


- Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies


- Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter


- Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years


- Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One


- Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84


- War Dims Hope for Peace


- If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While


- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures


- Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide


- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge


- Deer Kill 17,000


- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead


- Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge


- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group


- Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft


- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks


- Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy


- Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire


- British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply


- Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood


- Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees


- Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half


- New Vaccine May Contain Rabies


- Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing


- Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing


- Air Head Fired


- Steals Clock, Faces Time


- Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff


- Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni


- Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board


- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors


- Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction


- Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

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