Friday, 13 February 2009

They walk among us!

'Millionaire' Contestant Makes Worst Use Of Lifelines Ever


NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her
friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity
with her appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A
Millionaire.'

It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got
stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the
show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.'
After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans
assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with
an extremely easy $100 question. The question was: 'Which of the
following is the largest?'

A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she
realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know
the answer.
'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans, as Vieira did her level
best to hide her disbelief and disgust. 'I mean, I'm sure I've
heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large
they would be.'
Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the
50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was
bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly
easy question, Evans still remained unsure.
'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans.
'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'
Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs.
Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office
assistant.
'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans,
wasting the first seven seconds of her call. 'Ok, I got an
important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an
elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.'
Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans
proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.
'Come on Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh,
that can't be it.'
To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her
friend's advice and pick 'The Moon.'
'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright.
So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.
Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in
favor of answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines,
Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.
'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the
too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to
go with your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or
the moon, I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.'
Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting
with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the
answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'
Caution...they walk among us!

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This one is actually better! (No comments needed!)







Caution... They Walk Among Us!

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Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old
fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying:
'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the
fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He
eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal.
It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read:
'Fridge for sale $50.'

The next day someone stole it!

***They walk amongst us!***

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*One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when
someone shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at
the sky and said...'where?'

***They walk among us!!***

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While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun
waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the
north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east,
and has for some time, she shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't
keep up with that stuff'

***They Walk Among Us!!***

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My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in
a convertible, but 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car
was moving'.

***They Walk Among Us!!!!***

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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut
through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the trunk.

***They Walk Among Us!!!!!***

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I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose
ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't
the chain rip out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain
that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no
matter which way the head is turned...

***They Walk Among Us!!!!!!! ***

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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to
the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never
showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a
trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work with professionals like this.)

***They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!***

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While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small
pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he
would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some
time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think
I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

***Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!

Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce !!!!

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