16 Funny, Clean Jokes - Take 2 and Go to Work

Do you find yourself whistling and humming at work not to the tune of Happy Days are Here Again but to Take This Job and Shove It! Then read all 16 of these jokes, take 2 a day and tell them to your boss, co-workers or anyone who will listen. Soon you'll lighten your load and find yourself singing Zippity Doo Dah.

1. I remember when my attitude was "Look all you want, just don't touch." Fast-forward 20 years, and now I'm like, "Touch all you want, just don't look!"

2. Work, the ultimate self-esteem-sucking machine.

3. I work for a good cause: 'cause I need the money.

4. My marriage vows should have included the phrase, "Till debt do us part."

5. I want my husband to take me in his arms and whisper those three little words that all women long to hear: "You were right."

6. It's true that gray hair makes you look distinguished. It distinguishes you from the younger-looking people.

7. My boss tried to give me advice, he said I look frumpy and that I dressed better ten years ago. I don't know why he said that... I wear the same clothes.

8. You know you're getting old when you bend down to pick up something and think, 'What else can I get while I'm down here.'

9. I used our company Employee Health Referral program. The psychologist asked me, 'Is it difficult to please your boss?' I replied, "I don't know, I never tried."

10. I worked at a 'I'll scratch your back, you stab mine' kind of place.

11. My boss has different colored eyes...two of them are green

12. Hell...where you're damned if you do and damned if you don't

13. Love is blind, that's why we feel around so much

14. Top of the morn' to ye...rest o' the day to me-self!

15. Our office fridge doesn't have a crisper...it's more like a rotter.

16. I work too much. I never have time to date. I'm beginning to think that my headstone will read... 'Here lies Kelly, still sleeping alone.'

Kelly Smith is a Corporate Recruiter Consultant. Kelly works alongside human resources and hiring managers to source, screen, review resumes, interview, negotiate and extend offers to thousands of candidates throughout her more than 15 years in staffing. Visit Kelly's web site at http://KellyStaffingExpert.com see her blog, view jobs, and visit her store to buy her book, The Recruiter's Hiring Secrets. Also, in the store link you can send Kelly your resume for her to review and to make recommendations from her corporate recruiter perspective. Happy Job Hunting!