The Catholic Priest

One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horse lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse, a long shot, won the race. Before the next race, Mitch watched with interest as the old priest made a blessing on the forehead of another one of the horses. Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on that horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.

Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited so see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race. The priest again blessed a horse. Mitch bet big on it, and it won Mitch was elated. As the races continued the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first.

Mitch was now pulling in some serious money. By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest’s blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.

True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day. Mitch also observed that the priest blessed the eyes, ears, and hooves of the horse.

Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on that old nag. He then watched dumbfounded as his horse came in last.

Mitch in a state of shock made his way down to the track area and confronted the priest. “Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you I’ve lost every cent of my savings—all of it!”

The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy said, “Son, that’s the problem with you Protestants, you can’t tell the difference between a simple blessing and last rites.”