Gordon Brown

Gordon Brown called Alastair Darling into his office one day & said,'Alastair, I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win back Middle England '.



'Good idea PM, how will we go about it?' said Darling.


'Well' said Brown 'we'll get ourselves two of those long Barbour coats, some proper wellies, a stick & a flat cap, oh & a Labrador. Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a nice old country pub, in Much Something or other, & we'll show we really enjoy the countryside, ........ oh & remember not to mention the Hunting with dogs Act'


'Right PM' said Darling. So a few days later, all kitted out & with the requisite Labrador at heel, they set off from London . Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for & found a lovely country pub &, with the dog, went in & up to the bar.


'Good evening Landlord, two pints of you best ale, from the wood

please' said Brown .


'Good evening Prime Minister' said the landlord, 'two pints of best it

is, coming up'


Brown & Darling stood leaning on the bar contemplating new taxes, nodding now & again to those who came in for a drink, whilst the dog lay quietly at their feet. As they drank their beer they chatted about how heart-rending it was that pensioners were being imprisoned for not paying the council tax.


All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened & in came a grizzled old shepherd, complete with crook. He walked up to the Labrador lifted its tail & looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders & walked back to the other bar. A few moments later, in came a wizened farmer who followed the same procedure.

To the bewilderment of Brown & Darling people of all ages & gender followed suit over the next hour.


Eventually, unable to stand it any longer, Darling called the landlord over.


'Tell me' said Darling, 'Why did all those people come in & look under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old Custom?


'Good Lord no,' said the landlord. 'It's just that someone has told them that there was a Labrador in this bar with two arseholes'.