Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you £200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you 30p
Number2
In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in the UK, but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.
Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
And the BONUS thought for today.
Life is like a jar of jalapeños. "What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow".
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you £200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you 30p
Number2
In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in the UK, but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.
Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
And the BONUS thought for today.
Life is like a jar of jalapeños. "What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow".
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