Sleeping Dog

Joke of the Day Posted on | December 12, 2011 | No Comments

One afternoon, a woman was in her back yard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. The woman could tell from the dog’s collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when she walked into the house, the dog followed her, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner.

An hour later, he went to the door, and the woman let him out.

The next day the dog was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks.

Curious, the woman pinned a note to his collar: “Every afternoon, your dog comes to my house for a nap.”

The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: “We have ten children. He’s trying to catch up on his sleep.”

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Sanana

My husband, and often the spelling of words, so that our little children do not understand what we wish. What this had become one of the day, when my husband and were in the grocery store aisle soup habit of does not understand. Aggressive young woman banged on our shopping cart, then nudged me over my cooking to prevent access. Angry, I looked, my husband and said, ' boy, is he r-u-d-e! "

"Yeah," he replied, "and the bet, he or she may, s-p-e-l-l".

School notes

These are real notes written by old Mississippi School District. (Spelling is left intact.)

My son is a doctor's care and should not avl today. Run him.

Forgive Lisa for the time being absent. He was sick, and had him shot.

In the absence of a good school: Please ekscuse John, January 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and 33

I apologize to Roland, the avl for a few days.Yesterday he fell out of the tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had his face two teeth.

Chris is a school of which he is on his side for the cus layer Acre.

Sorry Jimmy for the time being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because he had to go Christmas shopping, because I do not know what she used to size.

I apologize to Jennifer is missing school yesterday. We have forgotten to turn off the porch, and when we found the paper on Sunday it Monday, we thought it was a Sunday.

Maryann was out of the December 11-16, because he had a fever, throat pain, headache and upset stomach. His sister was also sick, swine fever and throat pain, his brother was a low grade fever and Roach all over. I would be the best either, throat and swine fever. Must be something going around, her father was even hot last night.

Thinking “Out of the Box”

Joke of the Day Posted on | December 11, 2011 | No Comments

Many hundreds of years ago in a small Italian town, a merchant had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the merchant’s beautiful daughter so he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the merchant’ debt if he could marry the merchant’s daughter. Both the merchant and his daughter were horrified by the proposal. The cunning money lender suggested that they let providence decide the matter.

The moneylender told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty bag. The girl would then have to pick one pebble from the bag. If she picked the black pebble, she would become the moneylender’s wife and her father’s debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father’s debt would still be forgiven. But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the merchant’s garden. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick her pebble from the bag.

Now, imagine you were standing in the merchant’s garden. What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her? Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:

1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.

2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat.

3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking. The girl’s dilemma cannot be solved with traditional logical thinking.

Think of the consequences if she chooses the logical answers.

What would you recommend the girl do?

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

“Oh, how clumsy of me,” she said. “But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked.”

Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Most complex problems do have a solution, sometimes we have to think about them in a different way.

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Singapore Fellowship and Australian merge to create award-fifth of the world

Joint statement said the agreement would create a platform extended for global opportunities in the Asia-Pacific region, the recovery of the world driver clients its worst recession since the 1930s.

Cash and shares offer should be completed in the second quarter of 2011 subject to regulatory approval, the values of the ASX A $48 per share, or a $ 8, a premium of nearly 40pc last price traded.

Magnus Bocker, Executive Director SGX to become Chief Executive of the combined group, said that "by 2020, in less than 10 years from now, more than half of global GDP be in Asia-Pacific region."

"This is an opportunity we can't let go," he said at a press conference.

In terms of total number of inscriptions, ASX - SGX will exceed Tokyo to become the largest second list in the Asia-Pacific region after Bombay, offering more than 2,700 undertakings with more than 20 countries, including 200 of greater China, said the joint statement.

Merged exchanges will provide also access to the institutional investor base outside United States with active combined under valued at 2.3 trillions of dollars, including money from sovereign wealth funds management.

"There is no doubt it's a combination of point of repère.Nous try acting ahead of the curve to be proactive in a rapidly changing world" said Mr. Bocker.

The Wall Street Journal said the merger could create an approximately 1.9 billion market.

"At the end of the day, this combination is not only on the synergies of coût.Il is really on strategically makes us an Exchange much stronger together and positioning we grow in Asia, said the Wai Kwong, Director financial SGX Seck.".

The agreement seems likely to address certain regulatory issues in Australia as Singapore Government is a major shareholder in SGX, but stock exchange officials expected to major obstacles.

"I think that we would have announced it if we do not believe that approval would be forthcoming,", said Robert Elstone, Managing Director and CEO of ASX.

Australian competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC), Graeme Samuel said "I think it's an issue between the Exchange and Singapore Australia Exchange and I do not see that raise competition issues for us," President according to the public broadcaster ABC.

The announcement comes as the ASX is on the verge of losing its monopoly long Australia after the Government gave the go-ahead for rival to implement part exchanges.

SGX President-elect Chew Choon Seng is likely to become the non-Executive Chairman of the entity merged while ASX President David Gonski should become Deputy Chairman.

The combined group will have 1,100 employees and an international jury with 15 directors of five countries.

Something in your hand?

As part of the pub, Belfast paddy Murphy search as he had just been taken over by a train. His arms are at the ends of the sling, his nose is broken, his face cut and bruised, and he is walking with a limp.

"What happened to you? asks Sean bartender.

Paddy "Jamie O Conner and me had to fight." says.

"That little shit," says Sean o' Conner "that he could not do for you, he has been assigned common vulnerability and exposure was something in his hand."

"He made. says paddy "bucket is what he had, and he gave me a terrible licken with it"

Says "and" Sean, "you should have to defend yourself, right in your hand was something you don't?"

"That I did," said Paddy … "Mrs. O Conner chest and the case was postponed, the beauty, but useless."

Sleeping Dog

One afternoon, a woman was in her back yard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. The woman could tell from the dog’s collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when she walked into the house, the dog followed her, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner.

An hour later, he went to the door, and the woman let him out.

The next day the dog was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks.

Curious, the woman pinned a note to his collar: “Every afternoon, your dog comes to my house for a nap.”

The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: “We have ten children. He’s trying to catch up on his sleep.”