African Visitor

Posted on Day joke | 22. October 2010 | No Comments

African chieftain flew to the President of the United States to visit.

When he arrived at the airport, the host newsmen and television cameramen met him.

One of the reporters asked SOTILASTIEDUSTELUPÄÄLLIKÖN, if he were a comfortable flight.

To make a series of strange SOTILASTIEDUSTELUPÄÄLLIKÖN … sounds. "from the beginning, screech, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-"… and then add it to the full in English" Yes, I had a very nice flight. "

Another reporter asked, "Chief, you intend to visit the Washington Monument, when you're in the area?"

SOTILASTIEDUSTELUPÄÄLLIKÖN make the same noises … "from the beginning, screech, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z" … and then said, "Yes, and I will also visit the White House and the Capitol Building."

The next reporter asked "where you can learn to speak to such a fine English?".

SOTILASTIEDUSTELUPÄÄLLIKÖN replied "Screech, from the beginning, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z … from the short-Wave radio."

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The application of biology and sociology

Posted on Day joke | 23. October 2010 | No Comments

Q: what is the difference between Biology and sociology?
(A) when the baby look like dad, its Biology.
When the baby Show neighbor its sociology!

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Business is Business

Posted on Day joke | 24. October 2010 | 1 comment

One day in London, a teacher from the school said in category 5, of the year-olds …

I'll give you £ 10 for a child, who tells me that was the most famous man who ever lived. "

The Irish boy put his hands and said, "it was St. Patrick."

The teacher said, "Sorry for paddy rice, which is not valid."

Scottish son brought his hands and said, "it was Andrew St.."

The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, which is not right either."

Then the son brought his hands of the Jews, and said, "David",

Buddhist boy said "Gautama Buddha" and Muslim boy said "Mohammed".

All of them were not successful.

Finally, the son of the raised his hands Gujju and said, "it was Jesus Christ."

A teacher said, "that is absolutely right, Jignesh, importing here and I'll give you 10 pounds, which I have promised."

When a teacher is to give his money, Jignesh, he said, "you know Jignesh, because you are a Hindu Gujarati; I was very surprised to Jesus Christ said."

Jignesh replied "Yes." my heart I knew it was the international society for Krishna Consciousness, but Bijness is Bijness!!!!!!

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The Mummy

Posted on Day joke | 25. October 2010 | No Comments

Son: Daddy, you've never been to Egypt?
Father: nroMiksi you can ask that?
Son: box, which you received the Mummy then?

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Euro English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one
less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Angel

First Guy (proudly): "my wife is an Angel!"
The second Guy: "you're lucky, my is still alive."

How many were there?

A man and a woman had been married for some time, when the woman began to question her husband."I know you've been much before the woman ... how many were there?"

My husband replied, "look, I do not want to upset you, had many. Let's leave it alone."Wife continued to beg and plead.

Finally, the husband gave in. ";" Let's see, "he said," there was one, two, three, four, five, six, YOU, 8, 9, "

Married

Posted on Day joke | 29 October 2010 | 1 comment

The two men, one of the United States of America and India were sitting in a bar and drinking shot after shot &.

Indian man said, America, ' do not know my parents are forcing me to get married this invitation so cozy girl village, which has not yet fulfilled once. " We have arranged marriage. I do not want to marry a woman whom I love is not.Said unto them that in a transparent way and now is really a lot of family issues. "

We are talking about love marriages … you've said, AmericanKerron. "I married the widow, whom I deeply loved and, by letter of 3 years.

A couple of years, when my father with my daughter fell in love and married to the stage, so my father became my son-in-law and I became a father appensa.

My daughter is now Legally, my mother, my grandmother and my wife.Multiple problems occurred, when I had my son is my father's son, and so he has a brother, my uncle.

Situations worse when removed from my father was the son of the father, the son of. Now, my brethren, they shall contain a reference to my grandson. Finally all my father has become and I have my own grandson. [1] [2] And you can say, family problems."

Indian fainted.

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The Original Kings of Comedy

The Original Kings of Comedy achieves the seemingly impossible task of capturing the rollicking and sly comedy routines of stand-up and sitcom vets Steve Harvey, D.L. Hughley, Cedric the Entertainer, and Bernie Mac and the magic of experiencing a live concert show. Director Spike Lee and his crew plant a multitude of cameras in a packed stadium and onstage (as well as backstage, as they follow the comedians) to catch the vivid immediacy of the show, which is as much about the audience as it is about the jokes. And the jokes are funny.

All four riff fast and furiously (and with much swearing) on the world in terms of race, family, sex, and in one routine, outer space. Hughley takes comedic aim at extreme sports and eating disorders, while Cedric harks back to the day when gang fights meant calling opponents out onto the dance floor. Bernie Mac, the self-confessed id comedian of the group, presents a routine that is simultaneously offensive and hilarious--an apt reminder that comedy can and should be vicious if we are ever to learn to laugh at ourselves and hopefully be the better for it. Harvey, who acts as the MC for the show, has some transcendent moments with the crowd (a '70s slow jam sing-along, anyone?) that have to be seen to be believed. There's no doubt as to why Kings was a hit with concert and movie audiences; the laughs keep coming, in the tradition of Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy, with a sharp eye on the nuances of today's racially affected culture. --Shannon Gee

Price: $9.98

Click here to buy from Amazon

Groundnuts

Posted on Day joke | 31. October 2010 | No Comments

The tour Bus driver is driving a bus load of retirees motorway down when he is on his shoulder by napautetaan little old Lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, where she munches gratefully until it reaches the border inspection post.

Approximately 15 minutes after he taps him, his shoulders again and she hands him another handful for consignment.

He repeats this movement of approximately five times. [1] [2] when he is about to him instead of the second instalment of the account by "logging in" again, he asks the little old woman

Why do not eat peanuts yourself "?

"We are not pureskelutarpeen them because we have no teeth," he replied.

Puzzled driver asks "why do you buy them"?

Old Lady Replied

"We love this variable only if they are around the chocolate".

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Daughter in the room

Posted on Day joke | 11. October 2010 | No Comments

Does the Englishman, the Irishman & all talking about the Scotsman teenage daughters.

The Englishman says "I was cleaning my daughter room day and packet cigarettes was found. I even knew he smoked ".

Scotsman says, "there is nothing.My daughter's room was clean when I came across a bottle of Vodka for the whole day.I was really shocked as I knew, he drank, even in the case ".

Irishman speaks. "Both of you got nothing to worry about My daughter's room had. cleaning of condoms packet a day when I found I was really shocked.. En even knew he was a member of the penis ".

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Witches

Posted on Day joke | 12. October 2010 | No Comments

Q: do you know why not wear panties witches?
(A) the reason why it gives them a better grip on their brooms!

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Good health questions & answers

Posted on Day joke | 13. October 2010 | No Comments

These must be correct. I got them from retired Doctor I play with the application pool.You must comply with them, if they work ID for you Good luck!.

Dr. LaCoste Health questions and answers

Q: I've heard that you can extend the life of cardiovascular Exercise. Is it true?
(A) your heart is only good for so many beats, and that is it, do not piss them off.All think ultimately. speeding up your heart, you can live a longer, do not; that is similar to other words, you can extend the life of your car driving faster. Do you want to live longer? Take a NAP.

Q: should I cut the meat and eat more fruit and vegetables?
(A): is the plug logistical efficiencies.What a cow to eat?Hay and maize. And what are they? vegetables. so the steak is not an effective mechanism other than to provide vegetables on the system.Do you need a grain?Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source field grass (green leafy vegetables) and the pork chop can give you your own vegetables Jätesäiliön 100% of the recommended daily allowance.

Q: does beer or wine, bad for me?
(A) hear it moves to the previous section about the Management Committee for fresh fruit and vegetables.As we all know, researchers share all of the world into three categories: animal, mineral and vegetable. we all know that the beer and wine are not animals, and they are not the periodic table elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: have burger and beer and enjoy the liquid vegetable.

Q: how is the ratio of the institution/grease can be calculated?
A. well, if you have a body, and body fat, your relationship is one-to-one.If you have two body, your relationship is one of the two, etc.

Q: what are some advantages to participate in the program on a regular basis?
(A) will not be able to think of a single one, sorry., I must: n: O pain-good.

Q: If I stop smoking, I live longer?
Nope. smoking is A single character in expression, and peace in mind. [1] [2] If you quit, you are likely to stress yourself in record time to death.

Q: are fried food bad for you?
A: you are not listening. foods intended for human consumption are fried vegetable oils in these days ... in fact they've influenced. how to get more vegetables could be bad for you?

Q: what is the secret of healthy dietary habits?
A thicker gravy.

(K): sit-ups to prevent me in the middle of a little soft movement?
(A) absolutely no! When you can use for muscle, you should be larger. sit ups only do If you want a bigger stomach.

I hope that this has removed all the misconceptions has been up to.

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